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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Unemployment remains the biggest challenge to school leavers in most countries. How far do you agree with this assessment? What other challenges face young people today?

#unemployment #challenge #school #leavers #countries #challenges #face #people
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Uncertainly
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Uncertainty
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, in
this
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 competitive era,
unemployement
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unemployment
 is
devastating
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a devastating
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 issue faced by most
of
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apply
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youngsters
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the youngsters
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.
However
Linking Words
, in developing countries, most of the literate
people
Use synonyms
 are unemployed,
eventhough
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even though
 they have basic knowledge and skills for doing works. Except
this
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 ,they
also
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faces
Change the verb form
face
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 many obstacles in their life which
i
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I
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 will discuss in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, undoubtedly most of
youth
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the youth
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 in developing countries are educated but
still
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,still
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 they are not able to get a job to earn their bread because of competitive exams which are mandatory to get
a good jobs
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good job
good jobs
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 in developing countries.
Moreover
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, there are
less
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fewer
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 industries and companies so all seats are either filled by creamy students or the pupils who have money to buy a seat.
Thus
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, all mediocre students remain unemployed because of
less
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fewer
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 opportunities they have.
Linking Words
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Furthermore
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Further more
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Furthermore
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, corruption is
also
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 one of the main
challenge
Change to a plural noun
challenges
show examples
that is
Linking Words
 faced by today's generation. In every job, those pupils who have higher connections with the reputed
people
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 are able to get good jobs
eventhough
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even though
 they do not have any knowledge about that particular job. In
addidtion
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addition
, the reservation quota all a big
challege
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challenge
 for talented
people
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 because of it most of the
talent
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talented
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 students are not able
get
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to get
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 a good seat.
For instance
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, in MBBS a person who has 60 % marks
able
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is able
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 to get a seat because
of
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apply
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he belongs to
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
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 class family but the other person who belongs to
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a middle
the middle
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middle class
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middle-class
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 family who
attain
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attains
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 85 % marks is not able
get
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to get
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 admission.
Hence
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reservartion
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reservation
 and corruption are
also
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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significant challenges
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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acts
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act
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an
Correct your spelling
as
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 obstacle
in
Change preposition
to
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 today' youth success. To
recaptulate
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recapitulate
, after getting degrees most
of
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apply
show examples
Add an article
the
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literate
people
Use synonyms
 faces many challenges. One of the significant
challenge
Change to a plural noun
challenges
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 is unemployment. Except that, corruption and reservation quota is
also
Linking Words
 faced by today,s generation.
Submitted by harman1992narain on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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