Some people think that hard work helps in achieving financial success while others think it is not the only thing that contributes to financial success. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Certainly, hard
work
is key to
success
.
However
, it is considered by some people that hard
work
plays a significant role in attaining monetary
success
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others say that it is mandatory for
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
purposes
also
.
This
essay will discuss both perspectives in the following paragraphs. On the one side, by doing hard
work
people are able to get lucrative jobs in
this
competitive era which simultaneously helps them to raise their financial status in the economy.
For instance
, pupils can able to
Add the preposition
forcompete
show examples
compete
Correct your spelling
complete
show examples
the exams, if they will study hard which
further
will help them to get admission
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
reputed
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
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from which multinational companies
higher
Correct your spelling
hire
show examples
employees at very high pay scales.
Hence
, by doing herculean tasks with determination to complete those, human beings are able to get financial
success
. On the other side, along with getting financial
success
, dedication towards achieving
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
helps us to gain
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
of skills
such
as patience, confidence and so on.
For example
, a child learns many creative things by using
trial
Correct article usage
the trial
show examples
and error method, where the motive behind him
is not get
Change the verb form
does not get
show examples
any money but his
curosity
Correct your spelling
curiosity
to learn more, enforce him to do the same task again and again.
Hence
,
to learn
Change the verb form
learning
show examples
new skills
also
require hard
work
. To recapitulate, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
,opinion
show examples
hard
work
plays a vital role in achieving
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
financial
success
for elders and
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
new skills
such
as patience, confidence for both youngsters and juveniles.
Therefore
, hard
work
is
neccesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
for social, psychological and economical development.
Submitted by harman1992narain on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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