IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people prefer to provide help and support directly to those in need. Others however prefer to give money to national and international charitable organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #support #money #organisations
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There are split opinions regarding
this
Linking Words
 topic. While some segments of society insist that there should
be donate
Change the verb form
be donated
show examples
 directly to those who need some support;
however
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, counterparts of the society Reckon that everybody should prefer to provide some amount of
money
Use synonyms
 to larger charity, whether it is international or domestic. Though both has
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 pros and cons as per everyone's perspective.
Therefore
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, before commenting on my decision, both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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opinions would be discussed. There is no doubt for those
people
Use synonyms
 who would like to give
money
Use synonyms
 to those in need.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they believe that they can see the impact on those who are helping, which can not only lead
personal
Change preposition
to personal
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 satisfaction
,
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apply
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 but
also
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to
Change the verb form
apply
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respect from others in the community who appreciate the work they do.
For example
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, if they give
money
Use synonyms
 directly to
people
Use synonyms
 in their local village or town, they would see where it has gone. When they donate to larger charitable
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
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,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, they are not sure how much will actually be given to those who really need it or else as opposed
going
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to going
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 to
on
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apply
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other cost
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another cost
other costs
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 like administrative and expensive market
campaign
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campaigns
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. Another benefit is that
Thus
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, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
 prefer to help and support
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those in need. While looking through the glasses of another perspective, it is observed that many charitable organizers
has
Change the verb form
have
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 been run by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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mankind. Whatever, who prefer to donate
in
Change preposition
to
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this
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 larger charity, it is
also
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choice
Correct article usage
a choice
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 of good cause.
Moreover
Linking Words
. they think
like
Change preposition
apply
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that there are local places to help
people
Use synonyms
 have been limited, but in
larger
Add an article
the larger
a larger
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
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organization
Add a comma
,organization
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 they have
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of choices to participate in different activities
such
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 as sponsoring a child or conserving wildlife. Not only
this
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, donating to larger charities
with
Change preposition
at
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 an international level, which means that they have knowledge about fundamental global importance
such
Linking Words
 as curing disease and human rights or helping those caught up in environmental disasters
such
Linking Words
 as flooding, earthquakes, and famines. To recapitulate the above points, I believe that
although
Linking Words
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 aim
to
Add a missing verb
is to
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 help and support
to
Change preposition
apply
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those who need some
money
Use synonyms
 and shelter, there
are
Change the verb form
is
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 clearly
Linking Words
further
Add an article
the further
a further
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way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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 to donate them by participating in domestic and international charity. What is crucial is that we should continue to give to those who are more in need than ourselves.
Submitted by sejupatel17 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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