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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A child
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Child
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 development is of paramount importance these days.
Children
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 should be taught in different ways. While computer games may have some benefits for
children
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, I believe that outdoor
activities
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 can have an important role to develop a baby's experts. Becoming familiar with
real life
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real-life
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 would have a primary role for
children
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 in the future.
First
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 of all, facing real situations is a good opportunity for a vast number of teenagers to gain experience. In fact, they can figure out how real-life is, and being in the various situations would be beneficial for them.
In other words
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, they may fail in some
activities
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 and it may be an excellent time to learn from their mistakes. From a psychological point of view, outdoor
activities
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 have significant positive effects on
children
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 and they should take full advantage of different occasions so as to be upstanding
people
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 for both society and themselves. Learning good communication skills is of utmost importance for
children
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. They can improve
this
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 skill if they do outdoor movements. Indeed, in
this
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 regard,
children
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 have access to many places that a number of
people
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 are there.
As a result
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, adolescents,
for instance
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, can benefit from meeting other
people
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 and develop
this
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 skill. From a social perspective, these kinds of
activities
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 can broaden these folk's horizons as they can become excel at
this
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. Possibly, they can gain a sense of satisfaction in life. In conclusion,
although
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 playing computer games might have some advantages, being in society and spending some quality time with other
people
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 are far prominent.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical development
  • Overall health
  • Coordination
  • Foster
  • Social skills
  • Teamwork
  • Mental well-being
  • Creativity
  • Exploration
  • Strategic thinking
  • Problem-solving
  • Hand-eye coordination
  • Sedentary lifestyles
  • Social isolation
  • Moderation
  • Balanced approach
  • Detract
  • Obesity
  • Poor posture
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