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Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children, while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #government #rise #obesity #children #fault #parents
Children nowadays gaining weight more than in the past. Some people think childrens’
health
 is the government’s responsibility because they should build parks and spaces to let teenagers play and waste time, whereas I agree with people who believe that it is parent’s responsibility
thus
 they spend most of their time with family members. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss both points of view. On one hand, the government should invest money into establishing wide areas for teenagers to practice physical activities,
thus
 there are not enough spaces to play in their houses. If the government creates some competitions in
sports
such
 as football, basketball or any kind of
sports
, for all ages, that’s will encourage young people to pay attention to be able to win and get the prize.
On the other hand
, if fathers and mothers provide their sons and daughters with huge amounts of sweets and chocolates that are will affect awfully their
health
 and become heavy and oversize.
Besides
 that, If the government structure many places to waste time but the family didn’t take their children there, so there is no benefit from these
sports
 fields. Families have to help their children to get rid of their addiction to video games since it has a negative impact on
health
. I have a cousin who is 7 years old, about 130 cm and unfortunately 50 Kg. In my opinion,
this
 is my aunt and her husband’s fault
thus
 they offered him a lot of deserts and allowed him to drink Pepsi with the 3 meals of the day. He is becoming more havier by the days and these days he is unable to run for 3 minutes. To sum up, the regency should offer places to do activities and families should take their sons and daughters to theis
sports
 field.
Besides
 that, video games and technology have the worst effect on
health
, so they have to increase
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 it.
Submitted by talaqadan99 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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