Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children, while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #government #rise #obesity #children #fault #parents

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Children nowadays gaining weight more than in the past. Some people think childrens’

health

Use synonyms

is the government’s responsibility because they should build parks and spaces to let teenagers play and waste time, whereas I agree with people who believe that it is parent’s responsibility

thus

Linking Words

they spend most of their time with family members. In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will discuss both points of view. On one hand, the government should invest money into establishing wide areas for teenagers to practice physical activities,

thus

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there are not enough spaces to play in their houses. If the government creates some competitions in

sports

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such

Linking Words

as football, basketball or any kind of

sports

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, for all ages, that’s will encourage young people to pay attention to be able to win and get the prize.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, if fathers and mothers provide their sons and daughters with huge amounts of sweets and chocolates that are will affect awfully their

health

Use synonyms

and become heavy and oversize.

Besides

Linking Words

that, If the government structure many places to waste time but the family didn’t take their children there, so there is no benefit from these

sports

Use synonyms

fields. Families have to help their children to get rid of their addiction to video games since it has a negative impact on

health

Use synonyms

. I have a cousin who is 7 years old, about 130 cm and unfortunately 50 Kg. In my opinion,

this

Linking Words

is my aunt and her husband’s fault

thus

Linking Words

they offered him a lot of deserts and allowed him to drink Pepsi with the 3 meals of the day. He is becoming more havier by the days and these days he is unable to run for 3 minutes. To sum up, the regency should offer places to do activities and families should take their sons and daughters to theis

sports

Use synonyms

field.

Besides

Linking Words

that, video games and technology have the worst effect on

health

Use synonyms

, so they have to increase

using

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

it.

Submitted by talaqadan99 on Sun Jan 02 2022

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

322 words

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Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children, while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful ti individuals and to society. To what extend do you agree or disagree

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel tha manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging.Discuss bothe views and give your opinions. 5.0

In some places, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is much more convenient to watch a movie on television or computer than buy a ticket and go to the cinema. In the nearest future of the popularity of cinemas will drastically decline. Do you agree or disagree?