In the future, nobody wiil buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In
this
contemporary world, everything has been changing
as a result
of the advancement of technology. It is predicted that printed
newspapers
are
Wrong verb form
will be
show examples
entirely replaced by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electronical
Correct your spelling
electronic
ones and it is available for
people
completely free. I extremely agree with it and my reasons are explained in the following paragraphs. In my view,
this
approach of reading a newspaper has many benefits, so
people
tend to use it.
Firstly
, the internet plays a considerable role in
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
life.
According to
research,
people
devote 50% of their time to surfing
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the internet.
Therefore
, the way of reading has changed recently.
For example
,
electronical
Correct your spelling
electronic
books or
newspapers
appeal to
people
more
due to
the fact that
electronical
Correct your spelling
electronic
newspapers
are accessible everywhere and every time,
for instance
when folk are in a subway,they can readily read them with some simple clicks,
also
they do not
wast
Correct your spelling
waste
show examples
their valuable time at all.
Secondly
,
people
should pay for printed
newspapers
,
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electronic ones do not include any costs.
This
issue leads to
electronical
Correct your spelling
electronic
newspapers
becoming more popular. The next reason is that some websites provide
translation
Fix the agreement mistake
translations
show examples
in several languages for their newspaper,
thus
people
can readily foreign news.
Although
this
way of reading has a few drawbacks, in
general
Add the comma(s)
,general
show examples
it is a bright and helpful idea.
To sum up
,
electronical
Correct your spelling
electronic
newspapers
bring lots of advantages to
people
's lives.They are easier to use and more affordable. In my perspective,the rate of general information will be soared in society. The government definitely should support the news organizations and allocate some budget for them to promote their work.
Submitted by zahranajaran10 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar
There are several spelling and grammar mistakes. For example, 'electronical' should be 'electronic', 'human's life' should be 'human life'. This can significantly drag down your score. Please ensure to proofread your work.
Punctuation
The use of punctuation is inconsistent and often incorrect. For example, there should be a space after each comma, and periods should be followed by a space before starting a new sentence.
Task Achievement
You didn't fully address the topic. The essay prompt also asked about books, not just newspapers. You should address all parts of the prompt to achieve a higher score.
Coherence & Cohesion
The logical flow of your essay could be improved. Some of your sentences do not seem to logically lead into the next. Aim for each paragraph to be cohesive and logically structured.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: