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Education in financial management should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#education #management #component #school #program
Although
school
children
 must study many things in schools,
such
 as history and physics, some people consider it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
essential to learn how to administrate their assets in
school
.
However
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others think they should study more basic skills. In my opinion, the benefits
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 studying fundamental subjects may slightly outweigh the positive things
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 learning practical ones. Indeed, lectures on finance could play a pivotal role for
children
 in terms of managing their wealth.
For example
, If students learn how to predict the stock market at the early stage of their life, even after growing up, they might expect the trend of the market and gain enough money
for living
Change preposition
to live
show examples
 steadily.
However
, there may be a risk that the way of managing assets is likely to change depending on the era.
Therefore
, even if
children
 learn to administrate their assets in
school
, that method might be outdated when they are adults. Meanwhile, subjects that are already established firmly,
such
 as mathematics and languages, give students long-term benefits.
For instance
, in educational sociology, there is a term called the golden age, which indicates the age of six to ten. It is said that If
children
 interact with the new notion at the golden age, their memory of
such
 ideas will
last
 forever of their life.
Therefore
, in
school
 curriculums, established knowledge that helps
children
 for a long span should be prioritized. In conclusion, I partly agree with the statement;
however
, learning fundamental subjects could have more positive impacts on students than the know-how of managing money.
Submitted by hayamiosaki on

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task response
Provide more specific examples related to the management of assets in the education system
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the overall flow from one idea to the next is smooth and ensure that all information is relevant to the topic

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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