IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. A nation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#societies #world #population #cost #healthcare #nation’s #provision #future
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In most of
present
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the present
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 countries are facing higher increment in cost of
health
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 facilities. It is mainly due to the unhealthy older
population
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 within the
country
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. As it is enunciated by the proportion of the society,
older
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the older
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 generation should responsible for their own expenses for
health
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 in future. I
am disagree
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disagree
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
 apprehension. I provide an interesting characterization and exemplify the essential elements to justify my claim. In my perspective,
ageing
Correct article usage
the ageing
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 generation is unhealthy due to their age and diseases.
Hence
Linking Words
 as a
country
Use synonyms
 fund for their needs is essential.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, most of the elders will
inadeque
Correct your spelling
inadequate
 to obtain necessary
health
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 support. As an instance, research done by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Harvard University proved that
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population
Correct article usage
the population
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 over the age
sixty
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of sixty
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 years are inability to do jobs
for
Change preposition
to
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 find financial support.
Therefore
Linking Words
, obtaining money from elders for their wellbeing is not a good option to control
cost
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costs
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 in healthcare.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many retired citizens
done
Wrong verb form
do
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 their jobs for the sake of the
country
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 in their
survice
Correct your spelling
service
 time. In
such
Linking Words
situation
Correct article usage
a situation
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, it is a governmental responsibility to protect them as senior citizens in the
country
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
, every individual's within the
country
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 is equally important to build up the
country
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 economy.
Hence
Linking Words
 free healthcare
sysytem
Correct your spelling
system
 for senior
citizen
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citizens
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 is a necessary requirement of the
country
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. As an illustration,
American
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the American
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 government announced that all
elder
Correct article usage
the elder
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population
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 in
Use synonyms
country
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the country
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 are free from all medicine cost. In a conclusion, no one can neglect the
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
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population
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 from the free facilities in
health
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. Because they
also
Linking Words
 have right to get those facilities, as they have
huge
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a huge
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 impact to build the
country
Use synonyms
 economy status in their younger ages.
Submitted by 2000nkpitawala on

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