IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

As per the trend nowadays a lot of young people migrate to other countries. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#trend #people #countries
Currently, many youngsters tend to move abroad. I believe that problem has certain causes and can be solved by taking special measures. It is apparent that
conconsiderable
Correct your spelling
considerable
 amount of young generation
in
Add a hyphen
in-country
show examples
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 who face many difficulties here looking for relocating in other countries whereas easily settle down. As a developing
third
 world
country
, there are low facilities for higher studies and researches which may
caused
Change the verb form
cause
be caused
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
brain drain because students always go for the
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
show examples
 universities in other countries where
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their requirements. Subsequent that due to the high inflation rate in
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
 situation in the
country
 may result
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 migration rate. Nowadays it is difficult to
servive
Correct your spelling
survive
service
 here whereas even basic requirements
also
 not available and even can not affordable due to higher price of commodities.
Similarly
, the people who are well educated can not find a good occupation with a good salary as the
government
 tend to offer them for
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 people who have not qualified enough.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
show examples
 white
coller
Correct your spelling
collar
 jobs
also
 have to face many
ststruggles
Correct your spelling
struggles
 to achieve a high salary
since
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the unethical decisions made by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
. I can suggest two possible solutions to
this
 problem among many solutions.
Firstly
government
 should introduce new industries which may create many job opportunities with good wages for
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
 generation to higher up their
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
.
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
 there should be
world
Add an article
a world
show examples
 ranking universities to complete the higher studies within the
country
 which can control migration for study purposes because it may be
advantage
Add an article
an advantage
show examples
 for pupils to avoid unnecessary costs. In conclusion,there is a trend in
youger
Correct your spelling
younger
 persons for moving to
another countries
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
show examples
 due to unbalanced economy in the
country
 and lack of resources to
further
 studies, I believe
this
 can be
controled
Correct your spelling
controlled
 by the
government
 as creating many job opportunities and introducing
world famous
Add a hyphen
world-famous
show examples
unversitites
Correct your spelling
universities
 branches in the
country
.
Submitted by priyankamiriyagalla on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: