Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people

These days almost all foods and drinks, which are manufactured by factories, include

much

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

sugar

which is a

really

Change the adverb

real

show examples

danger

Replace the word

dangerous

show examples

for our health. Some people argue that increasing the price of

sugar

could

be encourage

Change the verb form

encourage

show examples

us to eat less

sugar

. I fully disagree with

this

idea and

this

essay will provide

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

some of the main reasons for

this

. The

first

main reason for my disagreement with the idea of high pricing of

sugar

is that

instead

of eating fewer

sugar

people will buy the same number of sweets but produced with bad quality. Nowadays there are numerous different products with which

sugar

could be replaced but in case of high pricing for

sugar

Add a comma

,sugar

show examples

producers will use the cheapest of them to leave their income at an interesting level.

For example

sugar

could be replaced by

such

elements as spirulina or xylitol in some products but nobody clear knows their quality. Another matter why I disagree with the above issue is that major buyers will waste less on other healthy products like vegetables or fruits. As it could be aware society change their habits very hard even their health is under hazard. As a tradition,

for instance

, in Russia visiting their relatives or friends guests often bring with them some type of cakes or other different sweets for children especially. To conclude,

although

I disagree that more expensive

sugar

give

Change the verb form

gives

show examples

people a chance to consume it less, high pricing of

this

should encourage industry

manufactures

Replace the word

manufacturers

show examples

sweet food and drinks with tiny level of

sugar

Submitted by ivk73 on Mon Jan 03 2022

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 2 - Example
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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

People can eat a variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadavantages?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

More and more people in developed countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problem dose this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?