Students in some countries leave school without good understanding of how to manage their money. What do you think are the reasons? What are the solutions to this problem？

#students #countries #school #money #problem？

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is considered that the majority of students left school without acquiring knowledge of managing their funds which becomes an alarming situation in most of the country.

This

Linking Words

essay will

further

Linking Words

elaborate on the problems along with remedial solutions and

thus

Linking Words

will lead to a logical conclusion. There are myriad of reasons which are expected to

further

Linking Words

explain the argument but the most preponderant one stems from the fact that children who belong to richer families get a hefty amount of pocket

money

Use synonyms

which they spend on leisure activities.

For instance

Linking Words

, young people who are frequently going to the cinema, shopping small, eating out at the restaurant and bars with their partners without considering about thrift and

also

Linking Words

indulge in dissipation.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it results in wastage of

money

Use synonyms

and increases environmental pollution. Another pivotal aspect of

this

Linking Words

trend is that scholars are not mature enough in cognitive responsibilities except for doing studies.

As a result

Linking Words

, they do not understand the value of

money

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, there are some solutions

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

are not complicated but accessible and practicable.

First

Linking Words

and foremost, there should be fund management subjects to teach students how to manage their personal expenditures.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it is pertinent to mention that parents are supposed to limit the

money

Use synonyms

they give their children.

Besides

Linking Words

, local authorities allow part-time jobs so students know the hard work of

money

Use synonyms

. To recapitulate, the problem of personal’s fund management facing people all over the world.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, the potential address discussed helps alleviate

this

Linking Words

concern and

hence

Linking Words

, these are instrumental indeed.

Submitted by aronwang1997 on Mon Jan 03 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Financial literacy
Curriculum
Traditional subjects
Cultural norms
Real-life situations
Taboo
Technological distractions
Real-world experience
Economically disadvantaged areas
Resource allocation
Financial education programs
Personal financial management

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of university?
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that people tend to think that graduates should be provided with the comprehension and skills which they will need in their workplace. However, others think that the real responsibility of a university is to give access to knowledge, no matter the course is important for employer or not. It is undeniable that education has become an essential part of our life.
7.5
band
In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produce locally Why people buy imported food ? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food ?
In many nations nowadays, there are more people who prefer imported snacks to local snacks, which derives from the better standard of foreign cuisine. However, this can be tackled by improving the quality control of local food.
5
band
Over consumption sugar is unhealthy. Some people think that government should take responsibility to control it. Others think that individuals should take responsibility of sugar intake. What is your opinion on this?
Over consumption of sugar is a health issue that everyone discusses in the present generation due to its harmful effects. Where some believe sugar intake is an individual responsibility, However, I will discuss the both opinion and provide reasons using some examples explaining why I believe government should take responsibility to control its consumption.
5.5
band
Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people say trees should be planted in the vacant areas of city and towns, while others say housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?
It is said that planting trees is an important activity for the protection of the environment. Numerous humans think trees should be planted in the vacant spaces of cities and towns, while others think housing amenities should be built alternatively. In my experience, I prefer planting greenery to building housing amenities because of some pros and cons.
<4
band
A friend from another country is moving to your city for work. He / she has asked you for advice about living in your city.
I hope you are doing well.

Students in some countries leave school without good understanding of how to manage their money. What do you think are the reasons? What are the solutions to this problem？

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produce locally Why people buy imported food ? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food ?

Over consumption sugar is unhealthy. Some people think that government should take responsibility to control it. Others think that individuals should take responsibility of sugar intake. What is your opinion on this?

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people say trees should be planted in the vacant areas of city and towns, while others say housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?

A friend from another country is moving to your city for work. He / she has asked you for advice about living in your city.