Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number,...) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

On these
Change preposition
These
show examples
days, it is becoming
commonly
Replace the word
common
show examples
for
people
to reveal private
data
in
digital
Add an article
a digital
the digital
show examples
society. While
this
way may facilitate a better user experience, I believe that the trend is negative as
people
will tend to be susceptible to criminal activities. On the one hand, online shoppers easily synchronize their personal
information
online. Through associating personal details with particular accounts, consumers can make more convenient online purchases.
This
is clearly exemplification when
people
shop on e-commerce platforms
such
as Amazon or Taobao.
Besides
, the
data
can be recalled by the user every time even if they forget it.
For instance
, if a person
forget
Change the verb form
forgets
show examples
her password or other key
information
, she can recollect or reset online in a secure manner.
In addition
, when
people
have numerous passwords and when they change these periodically,
this
storage of
data
would be very beneficial.
On the other hand
, posting personal
data
on the Internet makes users potentially vulnerable to cyber-
crimmes
Correct your spelling
crimes
crime
. The private
information
shared
cyberspace
Change preposition
in cyberspace
show examples
including one’s name, address, phone number or even account banking can be exploited for
illict
Correct your spelling
illicit
purposes
such
as financial
faud
Correct your spelling
fraud
, advertisement. Today, there are many professional hackers who break into a person’s or organization’s secure spaces online and can do fraudulent activities
such
as transferring money to another
acoount
Correct your spelling
account
.
This
led to a large number of
people
losing an amount of money to a sophisticated online hacking scheme. In conclusion, despite some relatively minimal conveniences, enrolling personal details online is a negative development considering the risk of online fraud. In my opinion, its drawbacks should not be neglected as it can
result
Add the preposition
inresult
fromresult
show examples
catastrophes and the governments need to establish additional privacy regulations so as to mitigate security risks and better secure personal identity
information
.
Submitted by msphuong1234 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Personal information
  • Online privacy
  • Security concerns
  • Identity theft
  • Enhanced connectivity
  • Convenient access
  • Social networks
  • Banking purposes
  • Positive development
  • Negative impact
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