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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The population of most cities is growing as people move to cities to find work and new opportunities. What problems does overpopulation in cities cause? How can these problems be solved?

#population #cities #people #move #work #opportunities #overpopulation
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Overcrowding, a consequence of increased migration to urban areas, is a common problem in modern
cities
.
This
 phenomenon has caused these places to struggle with traffic congestion and an increased cost of living.
However
, governments can tackle these issues by promoting the public
transportation
 system and controlling the housing market. One of the first
problems
 that overcrowded
cities
 encounter is traffic jams as insufficient public
transportation
 enforce people to use their own vehicles.
For example
, in my hometown Toronto, after the surge in the number of residents in 2009, the number of people who use their own car and the amount of time they spend for daily commuting have risen dramatically because the subways did not enhance their capacity
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same time.
This
 example illustrates how overpopulation can disturb the commute system in a major city. Another issue that impacts the residents of crowded
cities
 is the high cost of living, particularly for housing.
For instance
, the average monthly rent of an apartment has doubled in recent years, making it difficult for many people to find affordable properties. The increased demand for houses and their insufficient production are considered the main reasons for
this
 phenomenon. Governments,
however
, can solve these
problems
 by controlling the housing market and promoting public
transportation
. The Authorities in these areas should encourage building companies to expand their activity and provide sufficient residential apartments,
thus
 preventing the prices from going high.
Moreover
, they should renovate the public
transportation
 system to respond to necessary commutes. These measures can mitigate the
problems
 caused by overcrowding. In conclusion, increased migration and overpopulation can increase the cost of living and traffic
problems
 in
cities
;
While
 governments can mitigate these by expanding public
transportation
 and building enough houses for their citizens.
Submitted by pooyamehr on

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introduction conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea to improve clarity.
logical structure
Enhance logical structure by using more transitional phrases to clearly establish connections between ideas.
relevant specific examples
Use more specific statistics or examples to add depth to the arguments presented.
complete response
The essay addresses all parts of the task effectively, providing a thorough response.
clear comprehensive ideas
Main ideas are clearly stated and explained, demonstrating comprehensive understanding.
logical structure
The essay maintains a logical flow throughout, helped by good use of paragraphing.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overpopulation
  • urbanization
  • strain on resources
  • property prices
  • traffic congestion
  • public services
  • healthcare
  • education
  • sanitation
  • unemployment rates
  • competition
  • green spaces
  • recreational areas
  • infrastructure
  • quality of life
  • mental health
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