IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The continued ride in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

#world’s #population #humanity #time #rise
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Increasing
Add an article
An increasing
The increasing
show examples
 number of the world
population
Use synonyms
 is a more serious risk for
earth
Add an article
the earth
show examples
 than plastic pollution and increasing temperatures. Countries
such
Linking Words
 as India and China have already put strict laws to control their citizen count as these are the
fastest growing
Add a hyphen
fastest-growing
show examples
 nations. Increasing numbers of citizens can affect the resources of the country. Issues
such
Linking Words
 as hunger are the main problems facing Africa. The USA and many developed nations help poor lands by providing help but
this
Linking Words
 is not enough.
Main
Add an article
The main
show examples
 reason for the increasing
population
Use synonyms
 is ignorance of the government and people not knowing about family management and its benefits. In India, Today in many villages, people are still unaware that the problems can occur with more children they have
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 they should be.
This
Linking Words
 rise
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 numbers can cause great problems to the world we live in.
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Natural resources are less,
however
Linking Words
, we are using
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 more than we should. Factories
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 produce supplies for the
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
on the other hand
Linking Words
 are the primary source of harmful gasses. These manufacturing industries are working on 100% capacity yet they are not enough to provide enough goods to the people. It is predicted that by 2050 the world's
population
Use synonyms
 will reach 10
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
,
Linking Words
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
 scientists are looking for ways to control medical crises that can not handle the current numbers of doctors we have as per regulations. humanity have reached
moon
Correct article usage
the moon
show examples
 and mars, but
serious
Add an article
the serious
show examples
 problem we face is still
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
earth
Add an article
the earth
show examples
 which is overpopulation is the main factor.
Submitted by homegardener on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: