IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Modern technology is being used more and more in different aspects of our lives, such as education. Do the advantages of using technology as an educational tool outweigh its disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#technology #aspects #lives #education #tool
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the era of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and the evolution of hardware and software
technology
, yielding
technology
 to serve
education
 has become a reliable option to count on.
Although
 many people would think that deploying
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
technology
 would improve teaching techniques,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 contrary, some other people would be reluctant to use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer and
technical
Replace the word
technology
show examples
 solutions to replace traditional
education
 techniques, In my opinion, the pros of using modern
technology
 in
education
 would defeat the cons of not applying it. As the latest technologies are invading every field and industry,
education
 would get more evolved by using the new technologies. Using
latest
Add an article
the latest
show examples
technology
 in
education
 can dramatically save the pupil and learner
time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since the student can attend the lectures and classes from home, or even better,
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
 can watch the lectures using his mobile phone while doing another activity like having breakfast or while he is the public transportation.
Additionally
, deploying modern technological solutions in
education
 can save money as well like the innovative solution of distance learning,
for instance
, imagine that you can achieve your college degree without the necessity to travel
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 back and forth to and from the college or school.
However
, using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
technology
 would improve our daily life, but we shouldn’t forget that everything In life comes with a tax, impeding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
 in the
education
 life cycle can introduce some negative impacts. These days people already spend enough
time
 in front of the computer and mobile screen, by facilitating
education
 through laptops and mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
,
time
 spent facing screens will be extended which
consequently
 will have a negative impact on our health. Another factor to remember and not to neglect, as the
time
 we spend in front of devices increases, self-isolation is increased too,
hence
 less
time
 for socializing and to spend with family and our beloved ones. In my opinion, the advantages of adopting new and modern
technology
 in the
education
 system would definitely
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
 the disadvantage of not using it, as long as the society is keeping an open eye to avoid the drawbacks associated with it.
Submitted by eng.ahmed.mohamed.2007 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: