Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

There
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
no successful
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
that had no poverty
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since it is a global problem and people struggle to lower the percentage. It is not who responsible for
but
Correct pronoun usage
it but
show examples
the collaboration between the richest and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
to tackle
this
problem. In
this
essay, the writer will share some of
thoughts
Correct pronoun usage
their thoughts
his thoughts
her thoughts
show examples
regarding these topics. Some of the factors that could increase the poverties are less work market and a high price of living. Since there are not
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
businesses, there will
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
job opportunities. So it is a crucial part for
Add an article
a business
the business
show examples
business man
Correct your spelling
businessman
show examples
to increase their employees and expand their businesses.
On the other hand
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
have an important role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
regulating, managing either local
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
multinational company to hire the local people as much as possible. Not just
job
Correct article usage
the job
show examples
market,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
had to control food prices and collaborate with wealthy citizens for a charity. Regarding the topics, both instances are important to reduce poverty.
Submitted by mghazya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • interconnected
  • global stability
  • economic self-sufficiency
  • sustainable development
  • capacity-building
  • foreign aid
  • mutual benefits
  • trade relations
  • long-term outcomes
  • dependency
  • moral obligation
  • alleviate poverty
  • humanitarian assistance
  • resource allocation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: