Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Overweight in children is one of the essential factors connected with population well-being, particularly in the current day.
However
Linking Words
, it is thought that the authority should concern
this
Linking Words
situation and find some solutions to
handle
Correct pronoun usage
ithandle
show examples
. From my point of view, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
statement. In the
next
Linking Words
paragraphs, supporting reasons with actual examples will be outlined in detail.
First
Linking Words
of all, there are some claims that plus-size pupils affect the overall citizen's
health
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the World
Health
Use synonyms
Organisation showed the research that overweight children are likely to get serious diseases easier
such
Linking Words
as high blood pressure and diabetes. As the result, these young populations are growing to be an adult with
health
Use synonyms
problems in the future. From
this
Linking Words
report, it seems to me that the officials should take action with young obese to prevent community sickness.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there are some opinions supporting the idea that chubby people are less energetic than the normal population.
For example
Linking Words
, the research from the Nation Wellbeing in Thailand showed that the activeness in overweight people is fewer than other physical human types by 50 per cent.
Therefore
Linking Words
, as there are many obese in the future, the nation will grow slower than before. From
this
Linking Words
research and prediction, it is clear to believe that the Nation
Health
Use synonyms
Organisation should take responsibility for
this
Linking Words
problem as soon as possible. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe that the government should hand in
this
Linking Words
situation because
this
Linking Words
problem affects
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
community
health
Use synonyms
and population activeness. to tackle
this
Linking Words
problem, they should provide some fitness facilities to the young generation
such
Linking Words
as physical exercise class in a primary course in every school and educate basic healthcare to pupils.
Submitted by patsam.patsy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • policies
  • responsibility
  • health and well-being
  • education and awareness programs
  • childhood obesity
  • food advertising and labeling
  • unhealthy food
  • supportive environments
  • recreational facilities
  • collaboration
  • healthcare providers
What to do next:
Look at other essays: