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Band 4.5

More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by a modern lifestyle which cannot be treated with modern medicines. Some people think a return to traditional medicine should be encouraged. To what extent do you agree?

#people #health #lifestyle #medicines #medicine
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Technology has become an important part of our life.
Thus
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, it has made life easier and let us able to buy or do many things with one click only.
Nevertheless
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, it caused many new health problems for humans.
Besides
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 that, drugs nowadays are unable to heal the patients and in my point of
view
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,view
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 they have to go back to the old type of treatments
such
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 as therapy treatment. Lifestyle changing growing up, in these days,
people
Use synonyms
 can go shopping by their mobile phone without any need to go by transportation to any mall, or they can transfer many by application on the phone
instead
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 of going to the bank. While
this
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 modern lifestyle has many advantages in our life, it made the human can’t walk for a long distance because of joint problems, and struggle pain in back or legs or have redeyes caused by using smart devices for most of the time in the days and becoming overweight. Whereas the treatment ways developed by the time, had become more accurate, and the number of hospitals is increasing, but still unable to treat some of the diseases, it is not always the solution to do a surgery, sometimes all
what
Change the word
that
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 you need is to go to a gym or do physical activities in your home,
this
Linking Words
 is the way how the old
people
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 treat
them self
Correct your spelling
themself
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 before
couple
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a couple
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 of decades, and as we can see they are less stressful and live for roughly 8 years longer than
people
Use synonyms
 these days. My aunt went to a doctor because her arm hurts her, and he decide to do surgery on her arm,
unfortunately
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,unfortunately
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 she stilled suffering from her arm, after that she went to a therapist and she has physical therapy, she is becoming better nowadays. Modern lifestyle increased the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who suffer from stress
about
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by about
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 19%. It is very important to save how our grandfather and grandmother treat themself and use these ways to help us improve our health.
Submitted by talaqadan99 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • chronic conditions
  • holistic approach
  • preventive care
  • natural remedies
  • cultural heritage
  • ancestral knowledge
  • integration
  • complementary healthcare
  • regulation
  • standardization
  • scientific validation
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