some people think that music is not good way of bringing people of different cultures together ? To what extent fo you agree or disagree

#people #music #cultures #fo

It has been insisted that individuals having distinct traditional

background

Fix the agreement mistake

backgrounds

show examples

and age

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

can

comes

Change the verb form

come

show examples

together by

music

while others consider

inappropriate

Correct pronoun usage

it inappropriate

show examples

However

, I am less inclined towards

this

idea. Explaining the reasons that why some

people

have an opinion that songs play an important role in reducing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cultural differences. The

first

primary reason is that

people

who

belongs

Change the verb form

belong

show examples

to different age group easily mix up with others when

music

is playing as they

emerges

Change the verb form

emerge

show examples

themselves in the

music

For instance

, on some occasions

such

as weddings or birthdays, youngsters and

grey haired

Add a hyphen

grey-haired

show examples

people

usually forgets the age difference and indulge themselves in dancing. Needless to say, international

music

has

Add a missing verb

had a

show examples

great deal of influence on young adults since they

begin

Add the particle

tobegin

show examples

follow the other nation's fashion. To

examplify

Correct your spelling

exemplify

, according to the survey conducted by oxford university, 70% of young

people

india

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India

show examples

already

followning

Correct your spelling

following

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

western style

music

On the other hand

music

can lead to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

conflicts between

youngones

Correct your spelling

young ones

and

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

. There is always

Change the article

show examples

ongoing debate between

young

Add an article

the young

show examples

generation and

and

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

senior citizens regarding the selection of

music

since elderly

people

give more preference to

listen

Add the preposition

tolisten

show examples

traditional and folk songs which is opposite to the choice of youth.

Hence

, young

people

always argue with x-generation.

As a

result

Add the preposition

ofresult

show examples

the bondings of young ones and older

people

really get

effected

Correct your spelling

affected

show examples

adversly

Correct your spelling

adversely

. In conclusion, it can be re-iterated from the above discussion that

music

can

be prove

Change the verb form

prove

show examples

beneficial in the terms of mixing up of

people

, it is

deterimental

Correct your spelling

detrimental

to the relationship of younger

people

and elderly.

Submitted by bhullarpreetlove on Tue Jan 04 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people think that music is not good way of bringing people of different cultures together ? To what extent fo you agree or disagree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Robots aand artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

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A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old fashioned values such as honour, kindness, and trust no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?