some people think that music is not good way of bringing people of different cultures together ? To what extent fo you agree or disagree

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It has been insisted that individuals having distinct traditional

background

Fix the agreement mistake

backgrounds

show examples

and age

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

can

comes

Change the verb form

come

show examples

together by

music

Use synonyms

while others consider

inappropriate

Correct pronoun usage

it inappropriate

show examples

However

Linking Words

, I am less inclined towards

this

Linking Words

idea. Explaining the reasons that why some

people

Use synonyms

have an opinion that songs play an important role in reducing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cultural differences. The

first

Linking Words

primary reason is that

people

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who

belongs

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belong

show examples

to different age group easily mix up with others when

music

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is playing as they

emerges

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emerge

show examples

themselves in the

music

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, on some occasions

such

Linking Words

as weddings or birthdays, youngsters and

grey haired

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grey-haired

show examples

people

Use synonyms

usually forgets the age difference and indulge themselves in dancing. Needless to say, international

music

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has

Add a missing verb

had a

show examples

great deal of influence on young adults since they

begin

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tobegin

show examples

follow the other nation's fashion. To

examplify

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exemplify

, according to the survey conducted by oxford university, 70% of young

people

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india

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India

show examples

already

followning

Correct your spelling

following

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

western style

music

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On the other hand

Linking Words

music

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can lead to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

conflicts between

youngones

Correct your spelling

young ones

and

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

. There is always

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show examples

ongoing debate between

young

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the young

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generation and

and

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apply

show examples

senior citizens regarding the selection of

music

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since elderly

people

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give more preference to

listen

Add the preposition

tolisten

show examples

traditional and folk songs which is opposite to the choice of youth.

Hence

Linking Words

, young

people

Use synonyms

always argue with x-generation.

As a

Linking Words

result

Add the preposition

ofresult

show examples

the bondings of young ones and older

people

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really get

effected

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affected

show examples

adversly

Correct your spelling

adversely

. In conclusion, it can be re-iterated from the above discussion that

music

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can

be prove

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prove

show examples

beneficial in the terms of mixing up of

people

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, it is

deterimental

Correct your spelling

detrimental

to the relationship of younger

people

Use synonyms

and elderly.

bhullarpreetloveTue Jan 04 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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some people think that music is not good way of bringing people of different cultures together ? To what extent fo you agree or disagree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?

Why do many people not exercise regularly? What solutions can help them exercise more?

It is not necessary for people to travel to other places to learn about the culture. We can learn as much as from books, films and the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?