IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that in near future, the role of teachers will be diminished and they will be replaced by robots and AI. To what extent do you agree?

There is no denying the fact that the advancements of technology have invaded the world in all fields.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that individuals consider that the role of learning will soon change and be replaced by Artificial Intelligence, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes
this
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 idea. In my opinion, I believe that people are adapting to new technology and smartphones, which leads to changes in the approach to learning.
To begin
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 with, robots have many functions similar to humans, so they play a crucial role in teaching.
In other words
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, currently robots can explain and solve any question, especially for
students
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 who prefer to study at any time
that is
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 suitable for them.
In addition
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, the majority of
students
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 depend on robots to solve problems in ways they prefer.
For example
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, Japan is starting a new approach to teaching, and a huge number of
students
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 strongly agree with
this
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 decision. Another point to consider is that new technology assists with many weaknesses of
students
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, especially for those who do not have the confidence to ask teachers. It is
also
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 possible to say that
students
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 are usually embarrassed to ask questions in front of their friends.
Moreover
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, individuals at a young age lack many social skills, so
this
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 prevents them from asking questions.
For instance
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, several studies show that the majority of
students
Use synonyms
 in schools and universities achieve excellent marks. In conclusion, despite different opinions, I believe that people are lucky because they have many opportunities nowadays that help them understand their subjects very well.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly if you agree, disagree, or partly agree.
task response
Write more about teachers, robots, and AI. Your main idea is about learning change, but the question asks if teachers will be replaced.
task response
Add stronger examples. Your Japan example is too general, and the study example has no clear detail.
task response
Support each main point with a clear reason and one specific example.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Make links between ideas easier to follow. Some sentences jump too fast from one idea to another.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like first, also, for example, and however.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same focus in each paragraph. Do not move from robots to phones to social skills without a clear link.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has basic paragraphing, with two main body paragraphs.
task response
You give more than one reason for your view.
task response
You try to use examples to support your ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Artificial Intelligence (AI)
  • Diminished
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Critical thinking
  • Human interaction
  • Technological advancements
  • Educational inequality
  • Complement
  • Societal resistance
  • Ethical considerations
  • Cognitive skills
  • Pedagogy
  • Adaptability
  • Empathy
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