IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

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The pie chart below illustrates the percentage of British
students
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 who were able to speak
second
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languages
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 in 2000 and 2010 Overall, there are 6 categories of
languages
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 which are no other
language
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, french, german,
Spanish
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 another
language
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 and two other
languages
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. The most spoken
language
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 is
Spanish
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 for both in 2000 and 2010.
Moreover
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, in 2010, there are fewer people who spoke only one
language
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 and french compare to 2000.
To begin
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 with,
Spanish
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 is the most popular
second
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language
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 for British
students
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. 30% of the
students
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 speak
Spanish
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 in 2000, whereas, in 2010, the number of speakers raised to 35%.
In contrast
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, the
students
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 that could speak only their native
language
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 showed a significant decline of 10%. French is another
language
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 that received decreasing in popularity by 5%.
On the other hand
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, more people could speak
Spanish
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, another
language
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 and two other
languages
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 at 5% in each
language
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
What to do next:
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