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Band 5.5

Scientific developments in farming always bring major benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#developments
It is argued that the use of science technology in farming brings huge advantages to humankind. I agree with
this
 idea because it not only help people make more money but
also
saving
Wrong verb form
saves
show examples
 their
time
 and energy. Advanced technology in farming leads to produce abundant of agricultural products which can make a huge amount of money. Using scientific knowledge to invent
specific
Change the article
the specific
show examples
machine
 for providing
appropriate
Add an article
the appropriate
an appropriate
show examples
 amount of water make farmers be able to harvest effectively even in the drought since they no longer depend on the weather.
As a result
, their crops can be sold in the market all
time
 of the years
unlike
Add the comma(s)
,unlike
show examples
 the previous
time
. To illustrate, when
Thai
Correct article usage
the Thai
show examples
 government support the use of watering
machine
 in planting vegetables, the growth of agricultural marketing is increasing dramatically.
Moreover
, it is more comfortable for farmers to use technology to do their business. With
suitable
Correct article usage
a suitable
show examples
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
, they do not have to spend all days working outside. They can control the
machine
 from their house and make it do their work for them. In the end, they receive the exact same outcomes .
Therefore
, changing the method of harvesting from human labour to
machine
 makes the process completed easier and faster.
In addition
,
this
 innovation is more effective because it can complete the same work within only a half
time
.
For example
, using
tractor
Add an article
a tractor
the tractor
show examples
 to harvest the corn takes only a couple of hours whereas it takes a day for using
man
Correct article usage
a man
show examples
 maker. In conclusion, I definitely agree that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientific development in farming brings enormous benefits because it can make farmers wealthy and it
also
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 their jobs done easily.
Submitted by Varaiphand on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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