IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Scientific developments in farming always bring major benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#developments
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It is argued that the use of science technology in farming brings huge advantages to humankind. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea because it not only help people make more money but
also
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saving
Wrong verb form
saves
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 their
time
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 and energy. Advanced technology in farming leads to produce abundant of agricultural products which can make a huge amount of money. Using scientific knowledge to invent
specific
Change the article
the specific
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machine
Use synonyms
 for providing
appropriate
Add an article
the appropriate
an appropriate
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 amount of water make farmers be able to harvest effectively even in the drought since they no longer depend on the weather.
As a result
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, their crops can be sold in the market all
time
Use synonyms
 of the years
unlike
Add the comma(s)
,unlike
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 the previous
time
Use synonyms
. To illustrate, when
Thai
Correct article usage
the Thai
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 government support the use of watering
machine
Use synonyms
 in planting vegetables, the growth of agricultural marketing is increasing dramatically.
Moreover
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, it is more comfortable for farmers to use technology to do their business. With
suitable
Correct article usage
a suitable
show examples
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
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, they do not have to spend all days working outside. They can control the
machine
Use synonyms
 from their house and make it do their work for them. In the end, they receive the exact same outcomes .
Therefore
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, changing the method of harvesting from human labour to
machine
Use synonyms
 makes the process completed easier and faster.
In addition
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,
this
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 innovation is more effective because it can complete the same work within only a half
time
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, using
tractor
Add an article
a tractor
the tractor
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 to harvest the corn takes only a couple of hours whereas it takes a day for using
man
Correct article usage
a man
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 maker. In conclusion, I definitely agree that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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scientific development in farming brings enormous benefits because it can make farmers wealthy and it
also
Linking Words
make
Change the verb form
makes
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 their jobs done easily.
Submitted by Varaiphand on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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