Nowadays, many people have to work long time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What employers can do to make their life easier?

Recently, numerous people suffer from
stress
than in the past because those are required to
work
for a long pace of
time
. I believe that, there are several reasons why
this
is commonly happen in the society. There are possible solutions,
however
, that can be done to make the
employees
enjoy their
time
.
To begin
with, the
employees
are not having enough
time
for their family. The
time
they spend at the
work
place force them to
work
in the early morning until night.
Thus
, family gathering cannot be accomplished as it should.
Moreover
, having a hectic schedule may
also
ruin their mood and increase their
stress
while
coming back to home. Go out for entertain is not necessary for them anymore except having a nice rest.
As a consequence
, they witness a social distance with everyone, allowing them feeling lonely and anxiety.
However
, exercise plays important roles on those aforementioned problems.
For instance
, they can take a morning walk to a park or surroundings near the house. Taking exercise can boost their hormone dopamine and mood before going to
work
, which able to make them happy in the
work
place. Another positive way to do is having regular conversations with families or friends. In
this
way people are distracting their self from
stress
due to
work
matters. Talking with people about their whole day,
for example
, make them reduce the anxiety. In conclusion, working all days in seven days a week undoubtedly make the
employees
stress
and feeling lonely because do not have
time
for family members and socialize.
However
, by doing exercise regularly and having conversation with family after
work
could be possible answers to make the
employees
delightful.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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task achievement
Ensure to fully answer the question by addressing both parts explicitly: the reasons for increased work-related stress and specific actions employers can take to alleviate this. The latter part needs more development in your essay.
task achievement
Develop your main ideas more comprehensively with specific examples or evidence. This will make your arguments more convincing and fulfill the complete response criterion more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Use clear, logical transitions between paragraphs to guide the reader through your argument. This will enhance the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider elaborating more on your introduction and conclusion to more effectively encapsulate your main points and stance. A well-rounded conclusion restating your key arguments and stance can strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
Try to include varied and more complex sentence structures to enhance readability and demonstrate language proficiency.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • comfortable lifestyle
  • make ends meet
  • culture of 'presenteeism'
  • job insecurity
  • technological advancements
  • constant connectivity
  • globalization
  • irregular work hours
  • flexible working schedules
  • work-life balance
  • employee training and development
  • productivity
  • efficiency
  • healthier work environment
  • mental health resources
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