Nowadays, many people have to work long time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What employers can do to make their life easier?

#people #work #time #employers #life

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Recently, numerous people suffer from

stress

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than in the past because those are required to

work

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for a long pace of

time

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. I believe that, there are several reasons why

this

Linking Words

is commonly happen in the society. There are possible solutions,

however

Linking Words

, that can be done to make the

employees

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enjoy their

time

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To begin

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with, the

employees

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are not having enough

time

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for their family. The

time

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they spend at the

work

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place force them to

work

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in the early morning until night.

Thus

Linking Words

, family gathering cannot be accomplished as it should.

Moreover

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, having a hectic schedule may

also

Linking Words

ruin their mood and increase their

stress

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while

Linking Words

coming back to home. Go out for entertain is not necessary for them anymore except having a nice rest.

As a consequence

Linking Words

, they witness a social distance with everyone, allowing them feeling lonely and anxiety.

However

Linking Words

, exercise plays important roles on those aforementioned problems.

For instance

Linking Words

, they can take a morning walk to a park or surroundings near the house. Taking exercise can boost their hormone dopamine and mood before going to

work

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, which able to make them happy in the

work

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place. Another positive way to do is having regular conversations with families or friends. In

this

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way people are distracting their self from

stress

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due to

Linking Words

work

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matters. Talking with people about their whole day,

for example

Linking Words

, make them reduce the anxiety. In conclusion, working all days in seven days a week undoubtedly make the

employees

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stress

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and feeling lonely because do not have

time

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for family members and socialize.

However

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, by doing exercise regularly and having conversation with family after

work

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could be possible answers to make the

employees

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delightful.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Wed Feb 14 2024

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task achievement

Ensure to fully answer the question by addressing both parts explicitly: the reasons for increased work-related stress and specific actions employers can take to alleviate this. The latter part needs more development in your essay.

task achievement

Develop your main ideas more comprehensively with specific examples or evidence. This will make your arguments more convincing and fulfill the complete response criterion more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Use clear, logical transitions between paragraphs to guide the reader through your argument. This will enhance the logical structure of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Consider elaborating more on your introduction and conclusion to more effectively encapsulate your main points and stance. A well-rounded conclusion restating your key arguments and stance can strengthen your essay.

coherence cohesion

Try to include varied and more complex sentence structures to enhance readability and demonstrate language proficiency.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

comfortable lifestyle
make ends meet
culture of 'presenteeism'
job insecurity
technological advancements
constant connectivity
globalization
irregular work hours
flexible working schedules
work-life balance
employee training and development
productivity
efficiency
healthier work environment
mental health resources

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Nowadays, many people have to work long time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What employers can do to make their life easier?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some think that students must travel to another country in order to learn its language and customs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things. What are the reasons? And what measures should be taken to encourage children to spend more time on active or creative things?

The best way to ensure the growth of children is to make parents take parenting courses. Do you agree or disagree?

Physical fitness is essential for a healthy lifestyle. How important is it for schools to include physical education in their curriculum, and what can be done to ensure students remain active outside of school