Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family we just watch television. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#television #life #sense #community #people

Among many breakthrough inventions, mankind the TV set is the most popular, as it

concise

Correct your spelling

concises

the whole world and

bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

show examples

them to our living rooms. Some might think that

this

product of science is harmful because it destroys our personal time with family and community; in ,fact people prefer to watch television rather

Correct word choice

than communicating

show examples

communicating

Wrong verb form

communicate

show examples

with each other. I simply disagree with

this

line of statement and will explain my views in the forthcoming paragraphs.

Firstly

, to support my thinking I would like to state that

Correct article usage

a TV

show examples

set is a way of bringing families

Replace the word

closer

show examples

to one another

than

Rephrase

rather than

show examples

breaking them apart.

For instance

, in most families after spending a long day of hectic schedule sit together and spend quality time amidst watching their favourite shows.

This

way people get the opportunity to escape from monotony whilst having peaceful moments with their near and dear ones.

Secondly

, I would like to add that not only the family but television plays its blissful role to even

bring

Wrong verb form

bringing

show examples

the whole community together in a very amusing way.

For example

, in many societies

such

as in old homes and

also

schools

Add a comma

schools,

show examples

they are allowed to watch movies, documentaries, shows and many more which acts as a glue to create a greater bond among them.

Furthermore

, whenever there are any broadcasts regarding any concerning news, sports or any achievements of any member of their respective community people like to gather around and enjoy them. In conclusion, I will reiterate my opinion and will stick to the fact that proper use of television can only offer benefits to all generations of humankind in spite of putting their relationships in jeopardy.

Submitted by mrchy1987 on Wed Jan 05 2022

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coherence and cohesion

Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the writer's position and introduces the main points that will be discussed in the essay. The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate the writer's opinion.

task response

Provide specific examples and elaboration to support the main points more comprehensively. Also, ensure that each example directly relates to the main argument.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family we just watch television. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The cities and towns all over the world the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what action can be taken to solve this problem.

In some countries, people prefer to rent their home rather than buy one. What are some advantages and disadvantages renting a house?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicine and treatment instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a Positive or a negative development?

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports star) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?