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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some say the world would be a better place with fewer languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#say #world #place #languages
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Some
people
 argue that the
world
 would be an ideal place with certain
languages
.
However
, I strongly disagree with
this
 viewpoint.
This
 essay will examine my views and justify the proposed stance. To commence, several drawbacks occur if there are only a few
languages
 in the
world
. First and foremost,
language
 is a cultural legacy and an integral part of the community which has been used for a very long time.
Therefore
, removing
languages
 may potentially be inappropriate, as preserving cultural heritage is instrumental nowadays.
Additionally
, a significant number of
people
 will be against the idea of unifying
language
, leading to a debate or disagreement among
countries
 to decide what
language
 will prevail.
Such
 conflict is caused by the reason that
language
 has become a country’s pivotal identity.
Conversely
, despite the importance of
languages
, those who agree have their own arguments. The proponents of
this
 argument believe that fewer
languages
 can enhance communication between
people
 from two different
countries
.
This
 is because
language
 distinction emerges as the primary issue in communication, which often leads to misunderstandings or disputes.
Nevertheless
, in order to alleviate the
language
 barrier and forge
nations
Change noun form
nations'
nation's
show examples
 connections,
people
 can agree to recognize one
language
 as a common
language
that is
 utilized at
international
Correct article usage
the international
show examples
 level.
For instance
,
countries
 can acquire English as the main
language
 without eliminating their original
language
.
To conclude
, I firmly disagree that the
world
 would be a better place with fewer
languages
, as
language
 is an invaluable legacy and culture of the community and
this
 can lead to conflict between
countries
. I believe that by linguistic variety we can create a richer, more interconnected
world
 where different cultures can thrive alongside one another.
Submitted by rasendrya.hafiz on

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relevant specific examples
Expand on specific examples. For instance, an example of how bilingual countries effectively manage multiple languages could strengthen your arguments.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the one before it to enhance the flow of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a solid structure for readers.
complete response
You address different perspectives on the topic, which shows a comprehensive understanding.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your points about cultural heritage and potential conflicts over language selection are well articulated.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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