Art is considered an important part of our society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encourged to focus on art rather than other subject.

It has been insisted that
art
plays a significant role in
community
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the community
show examples
as different traditional and cultural differences can be represented by
art
. Some people think that
art
should be introduced into school
curriculam
Correct your spelling
curriculum
curricula
as
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
subject. I am more inclined towards
this
idea.
However
, more importance should be given to other
subjects
. Explaining the reasons that why
art
is imperative for scholars. The
first
primary reason is that
art
can prove stress buster for young children. In
this
contemporary epoch, the younger ones have
really
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a really
show examples
hectic and busy
schedule
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schedules
show examples
.
In addition
to it, they
always
Add a missing verb
are always
show examples
pressureize
Correct your spelling
pressurize
pressurized
by guardians to perform best in their
acadmics
Correct your spelling
academics
. If children involve themselves in
art
realted
Correct your spelling
related
activities, they will get more happiness. Since it enables them to express their emotions through painting and acting. By doing so, they can easily
maitain
Correct your spelling
maintain
their focus on studies as well. Needless to say, pupils can
also
make a suitable
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
carrier
by
leaning
Correct your spelling
learning
show examples
art
.
For instance
, many painters, actors are popular worldwide as well as earning
considerable
Correct article usage
a considerable
show examples
proportion of money.
Therefore
, by becoming the artists in future, trainees will have good earning resources and
sedentry
Correct your spelling
sedentary
lifestyle can
acquired
Change the verb form
be acquired
show examples
by them.
On the other hand
, the other
subjects
such
as
matthematics
Correct your spelling
mathematics
and science had better attain equal
impotance
Correct your spelling
importance
impotence
. The people who have artistic skills can utilize
art
to get good occupation;
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
everone
Correct your spelling
everyone
is not talented. So, it becomes
compulsary
Correct your spelling
compulsory
for them to do good in certain
subjects
so that they can achieve several opportunities in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
life.
Moreover
, the development of any nation relies on the white
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
employees, as they play an important role in
nation building
Add a hyphen
nation-building
show examples
. Admittedly,
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
,
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
and engineers can be produced through
high
Add an article
a high
the high
show examples
level of education. So
other subject
Change the wording
another subject
other subjects
show examples
should be
definately
Correct your spelling
definitely
taught in learning institutions. In conclusion, it can be
re- iterated
Correct your spelling
re-iterated
show examples
from the above discussion,
although
,
art
can bring out positive outcomes
such
as reduction in stress level,other major
subjects
should be equally regarded for
betterment
Add an article
the betterment
show examples
of society
Submitted by bhullarpreetlove on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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