IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular uk school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.

the three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular uk school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.
#three #show #changes #uk #school
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given charts provided information concerning the alterations in
yearly
Correct article usage
the yearly
show examples
 costs of a special school in Britain over the course of three years; 1981, 1991, and 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
, throughout the given period, the most and the least significant sources of expenditure were related to the teachers' salaries and insurance, respectively. It can be clearly seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 more or less
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half part of the school budget had been allocated to teachers' salaries over the period recorded.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
insurance
Correct article usage
the insurance
show examples
 part occupied altogether just 13% of the financial budget in three years; constituting 2% in 1981, 3% in 1991, and 8% in 2001. The cost
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 resources
such
Linking Words
 as books
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
comprised 15% of the spending in the first year faced an upward trend and reached 20% in 1991.
However
Linking Words
, in the
next
Linking Words
 ten
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
 the expenses of
this
Linking Words
 sector declined to just under one in ten.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the budget
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 furniture and equipment at first
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reduced to one-
third
Linking Words
 of its previous one (from 15% in 1981 to 5% in 1991) and
then
Linking Words
 rose dramatically to 23% in 2001. Regarding the costs of other workers' salaries, it encountered a fall from 28% in 1981 to just 15% of the expenses in 2001.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget allocation
  • educational expenditure
  • financial management
  • infrastructure investment
  • evolution of costs
  • annual spending
  • strategic funding
  • capital outlay
  • operational costs
  • resource allocation
  • fiscal trends
  • cost analysis
What to do next:
Look at other essays: