IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people therefore think that governments should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevant subjects should not receive government funding. Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #governments #university #fees #students #study #subjects #society #government #policy
Some individuals commented that ruling powers should finance top education for Freshmen orientated to the most valuable subjects to communities and avoid investing in those who follow less advantageous courses to societies. Personally, I believe the advantages outweigh the drawbacks since these disciplines solve folk's issues.
Although
, all sophomores have the same rights.
This
 essay will shed light on both sides of the view and provide evidence to prove the arguments. On the one hand, relevant courses help local communities.
In other words
, it solves problems in key areas of societies
such
 as Medical, Education, and Security.
For instance
, the recent research carried out by the University of Exeter showcased that 70 % of the world government which invested in pivotal courses
such
 as medicine, teaching, and military were stable.
As a result
, the economic growth of these nations was swift.
Moreover
, it is the prime reason for the high development in the United States of America.
On the other hand
, all students contribute equally to tax payments. Because of taxes paid by all citizens, including Boys and Girls, they should have the same fee enrollment payment.
For example
, 60% of Freshmen were reported to be found in riots due to a shortfall in the local ruling accountability to finance tuitions at Universities. It is pointed out by the new investigation led by United Nations.
Hence
, it destabilized the lessons schedule at these universities' campuses. In conclusion, notwithstanding some pitfalls the measure could provoke, the local authorities should invest more in students orientated to the country vital areas for sake of the economic advancement.
Therefore
 I still believe that the advantages outweigh the downsides.
Submitted by vascomunguarepenete on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: