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Band 3.5

SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT NOW WE CAN SEE FILMS ON OUR PHONES OR TABLIETS, THERE IS NO NEED TO GO TO THE CINEMA. OTHERS SAY THAT TO BE FULLY ENJOYED, FILMS NEED TO BE SEEN IN A CINEMA. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.

#people #films #phones #tabliets #cinema
Many people prefer to watch movies or tv shows on their mobile phones or other electronic devices, but
on the other hand
, some people choose to watch
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
multiple
Change the adjective
multiply
show examples
.
Firstly
, watching movies on phones is a nice idea for people who can do multitask without wasting their time sitting in one place,
for instance
, my friend, watches her show or videotape while doing exercise, doing laundry, or doing any other household works and she enjoys it and
also
 doesn't waste her time sitting in one place. But there are
also
 some drawbacks of watch shows or motion
picture
Change the form of the verb
pictures
show examples
 on phones, like, binge-watch the shows and never taking their faces off screens, or while doing the dishes your mobile phone slipped in
water
Add an article
the water
show examples
, etc.
Secondly
,
crowd
Add an article
the crowd
a crowd
show examples
 who love to watch films in the theatre, can have full fun of the movie, like speakers all over the place, eating popcorns, drinking cold drinks, no one there to tell them to lower the volume, can cheer, and many more. To conclude, I prefer watching
Add an article
the picture
show examples
picture
Change the form of the verb
pictures
show examples
 in the cinema because you can have total fun.
Submitted by rangwaladhwani31 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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