All over the world, the number of overweight people is growing. What do you feel are the main causes of this? What are the effects?

Nowadays, many
people
are getting overweight and
this
number is still increasing
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
due to the unbalanced
diet
plan
and unmanaged living lifestyle. In my opinion,
diet
plan
and unawareness for heath
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
the major factors
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
reflects
Change the verb form
reflect
show examples
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
issue. And due to
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
there are many bad effects on
health
can be occurred. In our daily life,
diet
Add an article
the diet
a diet
show examples
plan
is the major concern for everyone because our
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
can be
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
based on our
food
intake. Nowadays, many
people
prefer to eat oily and junk
food
and avoid their
Correct your spelling
homemade
show examples
home made
Correct your spelling
homemade
show examples
food
just because they find good taste in that.
Furthermore
,
people
are
also
getting lazy and less
concious
Correct your spelling
conscious
about
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
health
. They avoid
to get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
involved in any exercise, yoga or any other activities apart from their
routin
Correct your spelling
routine
work and that can
also
the
Add a missing verb
be the
show examples
major cause of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
weight
gain.
Health
is the most important
factors
Fix the agreement mistake
factor
show examples
in our life. If we are not concerned about our
health
then
it will effects
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
us very badly.
People
are following their unbalanced
diet
plans and because of that
reasons
Add a comma
,reasons
show examples
they start getting overweight. WHO has set different
weight
measures based on our age and height. If
people
do not take care
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
weight
measures
then
they start gaining
health
issues
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
weight
gain, breathing problems, unhealthy lifestyle and apart from all of these it will
also
effects
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their heart problems because
overweight
Add a missing verb
being overweight
show examples
is the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
heart attack. To summarise,
food
is very much important for everyone to be healthy but how
people
plan
their
diet
is
also
the major concern. Apart from
this
,
people
should take
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
15 to 30 minutes for exercise, yoga or other activities to make themselves fit and healthy and these how they avoid
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
issues.
Submitted by Misha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: