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Writing Samples
Band 5

All over the world, the number of overweight people is growing. What do you feel are the main causes of this? What are the effects?

#world #people #effects
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Nowadays, many
people
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 are getting overweight and
this
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 number is still increasing
everyday
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every day
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 due to the unbalanced
diet
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plan
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 and unmanaged living lifestyle. In my opinion,
diet
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plan
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 and unawareness for heath
is
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are
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 the major factors
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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reflects
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reflect
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to
Remove the preposition
apply
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this
Linking Words
 issue. And due to
Linking Words
this
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,this
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 there are many bad effects on
health
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 can be occurred. In our daily life,
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diet
Add an article
the diet
a diet
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plan
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 is the major concern for everyone because our
heath
Correct your spelling
health
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 can be
effected
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affected
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 based on our
food
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 intake. Nowadays, many
people
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 prefer to eat oily and junk
food
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 and avoid their
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homemade
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home made
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homemade
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food
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 just because they find good taste in that.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 are
also
Linking Words
 getting lazy and less
concious
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conscious
 about
there
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their
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health
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. They avoid
to get
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getting
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 involved in any exercise, yoga or any other activities apart from their
routin
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routine
 work and that can
also
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the
Add a missing verb
be the
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 major cause of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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weight
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 gain.
Health
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 is the most important
factors
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factor
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 in our life. If we are not concerned about our
health
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then
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 it will effects
on
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apply
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us very badly.
People
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 are following their unbalanced
diet
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 plans and because of that
reasons
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,reasons
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 they start getting overweight. WHO has set different
weight
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 measures based on our age and height. If
people
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 do not take care
their
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of their
show examples
weight
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 measures
then
Linking Words
 they start gaining
health
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 issues
such
Linking Words
 as
,
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apply
show examples
weight
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 gain, breathing problems, unhealthy lifestyle and apart from all of these it will
also
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 effects
on
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apply
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their heart problems because
overweight
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being overweight
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 is the main reason
of
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for
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 heart attack. To summarise,
food
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 is very much important for everyone to be healthy but how
people
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plan
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 their
diet
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 is
also
Linking Words
 the major concern. Apart from
this
Linking Words
,
people
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 should take
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 15 to 30 minutes for exercise, yoga or other activities to make themselves fit and healthy and these how they avoid
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
 issues.
Submitted by Misha on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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