In many contries, people have health problems because they choose to live in unhealthy ways. What do you think the reasons for this? How can it be solved?

#contries #people #health

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In the 21st century, human

life

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became more complex and materialistic in nature.

Furthermore

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, these enormous changes exert

health

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issues and

diseases

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in our society .In

this

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essay, I will explain the various causes and solutions for these problems.

To begin

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, nowadays

people

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are busy with their

life

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whereby it always promotes unhealthy eating habits like fast food intake and eating large portions of meals in a limited time.

In addition

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,these changes are correlated with chronic

diseases

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such

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as cancer,kidney failure and heart attack.

Moreover

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, stressful

life

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and unhealthy competition influence our day to day

life

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For example

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,According to the Indian Institute of Medical Science, 70% of IT professionals in India

facing

Wrong verb form

face

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various

health

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and mental problems because of their sleepless and busy

schedule

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schedules

show examples

.Resultantly, more professional work means less physical exercise

although

Linking Words

, it

generate

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generates

show examples

overweight and posture problems.Another key

things

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thing

show examples

to remember migration of

people

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from rural areas to urban areas creates eminent changes because

people

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far

Add a missing verb

are far

show examples

away from agrarian

life

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and familiarise

with

Correct pronoun usage

themselves with

show examples

industrial

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the industrial

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sector. Originally,

this

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is the key reason for the beginning of humans dangerous habits and it promotes community

health

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diseases

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There are

many

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much

show examples

mitigating

procedure

Change to a plural noun

procedures

show examples

for the reduction of

unhealthy

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an unhealthy

show examples

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

Firstly

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, extensive use of homemade vegetarian fresh food

reduce

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reduces

show examples

bad cholesterol and obesity because it stimulates healthy fluids in our body.

Secondly

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, balanced

life

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promotes physical and mental fitness

although

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, it

enhance

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enhances

show examples

people

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sleep routine and develop stress relief .

Thirdly

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, exercise like cardio, yoga and meditation facilitate positive results in our

life

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. To support

this

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, recently many

people

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all over the world

celebrate

Wrong verb form

celebrated

show examples

yoga day because

people

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understand the importance of physical exercise and its relevance in

modern

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a modern

the modern

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busy

life

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. Reportedly, yoga practice

deprive

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deprives

show examples

65% of lifestyle

diseases

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diabetic

Replace the word

diabetes

show examples

,cholesterol and blood pressure. In conclusion, there is a saying '

health

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wealth

Add an article

a wealth

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of everyone' without

this

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treasure no-one can exist.

Therefore

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,everybody should preserve their body and mind for keeping prosperous

life

Use synonyms

Submitted by sooryag03 on Thu Jan 06 2022

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

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In many contries, people have health problems because they choose to live in unhealthy ways. What do you think the reasons for this? How can it be solved?

The percentage of overweight children in western countries has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the possible causes and effects of this disturbing trend and offer a solution.

More and more children are accessing the Internet unsupervised. This can sometimes put them at risk. What problems do you think parents face when dealing with their children using the Internet? How can this problem be solved?

In many countries, both parents are working, and this affects family life. Do you think the advantages of both parents working outweigh the disadvantages?

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that when children under 18 are committing a crime they should be punished, while others believe they should be educated. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion.