IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries students pay their own university and college fees, however in other countries government pays their fees. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

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Amongst the many major social and educational issues with downsides and plus points, which
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 have to deal with educational fees for
university
Use synonyms
 is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
certainly considered as one of the most controversial ones.
While
Linking Words
 some people fall for
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 of
this
Linking Words
, there are many others who beg to differ. They mostly argue the positives of
such
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 a practice. On the one hand, obtaining fees from
students
Use synonyms
 is an opportunity to earn a tax.
That is
Linking Words
 to
say
Add a comma
say,
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 more
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 pay
university
Use synonyms
bill
Fix the agreement mistake
bills
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 and
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the university
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university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
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 give
a tax
Wrong verb form
taxes
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 to
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
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then
Linking Words
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 use
this
Linking Words
 money for educational problems.
For example
Linking Words
, new
school
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schools
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,
modern
Correct word choice
and modern
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 class is built by
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
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 at the expense of
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 and increasing education
level
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levels
show examples
. The second intrinsic merit to
this
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 idea, from many points of view, can be setting new science laboratory,
research
Correct word choice
and research
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 project by the
university
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, education fees help both
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
the university
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 and the state expense money
other
Change preposition
for other
show examples
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
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 and
supported
Replace the word
support
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it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
On the other hand
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, from an empirical
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
 gaining money from
students
Use synonyms
 might have a couple of downsides, as well. For one thing,
according to
Linking Words
university
Use synonyms
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 can not start
university
Use synonyms
 and
Correct article usage
a collage
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collage
Correct your spelling
college
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 degree is looked at, by many people as a demerit.
This
Linking Words
 means,
students
Use synonyms
 who want to enter
the
Correct article usage
a
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 good
university
Use synonyms
 where
university
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 compulsory and pupils do not
supported
Change the verb form
support
show examples
 it.
In addition
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,
country
Add an article
the country
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 where
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 pay their college and
university
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
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 for
students
Use synonyms
 have a lot of expenditure in the commonwealth budget.
However
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 have
not
Correct your spelling
no
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 problem
Use synonyms
university
Change preposition
with university
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 and college
Use synonyms
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
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 and start
easier
Correct word choice
more easily with
show examples
Correct article usage
a bachelor
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bachelor
Change noun form
bachelor's
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 or
master
Change noun form
master's
show examples
 degree. Taking both sides into account, I can safely state that purchasing
academics
Fix the agreement mistake
academic fees
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fee
Use synonyms
 for
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 has both advantages and disadvantages.
However
Linking Words
, after a
through
Correct your spelling
thorough
show examples
 consideration, I have come to
conclusion
Add an article
the conclusion
show examples
 that the demerits can eclipse the advantages.

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task achievement
Clarify the arguments presented in the introduction to establish a clearer stance on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Reorganize the structure of the essay to enhance the flow of ideas, ensuring each paragraph clearly focuses on one main point.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support the claims made, particularly regarding the benefits and drawbacks discussed.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
task achievement
There are some relevant points made about the advantages and disadvantages of student fees.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • socioeconomic barriers
  • financial burden
  • personal responsibility
  • educational outcomes
  • equitable society
  • vocational training
  • investment in education
  • degree value
  • budget constraints
  • overcrowded classes
  • graduate skills
  • workforce education
What to do next:
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