Everyone should stay in school until the age of eighteen, considering the significance of primary and secondary level education in a learner’s life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Considering the importance of different levels of education in an individuals’ life, a group of thoughts assert that children should remain in the educational institute till adulthood, even I ponder the same. The
first
and the foremost reason is, rudimentary skills are essential for survival in
this
world which
one
can only acquire from schools. Since children do not mature enough to differentiate between the right and wrong things, so they entail proper guidance from someone to move ahead in
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
direction and build their career.
Although
one
can gain knowledge from his parents
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
, teachers influence more comparatively. Not only
children
Add a missing verb
do children
show examples
get fundamental skills but moral and ethical values are
also
be inculcated to them during their schooling.
Besides
this
, schooling is mandatory for getting
Correct your spelling
reputation
repetitive
reputative
Correct article usage
a reputative
show examples
job in an organization as
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
of companies have set the standard criteria to apply for any vacancies
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
premise
Correct your spelling
premises
show examples
. To exemplify, if
one
wants to do the job in
multinational
Add an article
a multinational
show examples
company, having a matric certificate is
prerequisite
Correct article usage
a prerequisite
show examples
for indulging in the recruitment process.
Thus
, education plays a vital role in
everyones’
Correct your spelling
everyone's
show examples
life.
On the other hand
, an array of
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
show examples
claim
Change the verb form
claims
show examples
that schooling before
step
Wrong verb form
stepping
show examples
into the adolescence stage creates
unnecessary
Add an article
an unnecessary
show examples
burden
Fix the agreement mistake
burdens
show examples
on the parents. As nowadays, school fees are exorbitant and everyone can not afford the expenses of schooling which
consequently
leads to several problems for parents. Apart from
this
, some students do not interested in studies and they want to build their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
in
different
Add an article
a different
the different
show examples
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
which
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not require academic qualifications.
For instance
, an athlete
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
the necessity to do the practice of his field at
early
Add an article
an early
the early
show examples
stage of his life to get expertise in that field. It is not a pragmatic approach to study the things which are irrelevant to his future preference. Conclusively,
although
handful
Add an article
a handful
show examples
of people believe that eighteen should not be the lower limit for schooling, whilst as per my view, to become a successful person and to achieve the dreams
one
should complete his primary and secondary education before turning into
adult
Add an article
an adult
show examples
.
Submitted by hasanrimple53486 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: