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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Happiness if often considered difficult to define. Why is this? What factors determine happiness?

#happiness #factors
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There are several
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
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 that might occur in our
life
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lives
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 and one of them is being happy. Unfortunately, most
individudal
Correct your spelling
individual
individuals
still
Add a missing verb
are still
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 confused
to
Change preposition
about
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 the term “happy” itself. I personally think that
happiness
Use synonyms
 is a feeling when everything in our life runs well,
slighly
Correct your spelling
slightly
 more than we expect.
Feeling
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The feeling
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 is a certain condition that occurs in
human’s
Correct article usage
the human’s
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 brain after receiving a stimulus. It is either
a sadness
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sadness
a sense of sadness
a hint of sadness
a pang of sadness
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 or
happiness
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, when it
comes
Add the preposition
tocomes
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a
Remove the article
apply
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happiness
Use synonyms
, the brain produces some amount of hormonal that’s usually known as
cerotonin
Correct your spelling
serotonin
. Meanwhile, we do not usually realize when and how
this
Linking Words
 hormonal changes due to the amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hormonal changes. Each individual may feel differently
to
Change preposition
in
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 a certain situation, some people may feel happy, but
on the other
Linking Words
hand
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,hand
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 there
are
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is
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 always at least one person who does not.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 word has been an ambiguous term to be determined. Various factors
has
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have
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 been known as the reason
of
Change preposition
for
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this
Linking Words
 feeling,
such
Linking Words
 as enjoying “me time”, watching
football
Add an article
a football
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 match, doing
hobby
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a hobby
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, experiencing new skills, trying a new recipe, etc.
I
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amI
wasI
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personally able to be happy by a simple thing like being in a natural circumstance, when my close friend can reduce her sadness by singing out loud while having some kilometres ride on the road. Due to
this
Linking Words
 fact, it seems to me that each
folks
Change to a singular noun
folk
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 have their own way to feel their
happiness
Use synonyms
, as long as they know how to be happy it does not matter. In conclusion, the feeling comes from our mind and since different people think differently from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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others, it will be hard to define the feeling, including the
happiness
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the definition does not matter, managing our mind is more urgent so that we can reduce to stress that might occur by being happy.
Submitted by serlyayus on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • subjective
  • complex
  • embrace
  • vary
  • definition
  • material possessions
  • achievements
  • personal values
  • relationships
  • self-fulfillment
  • psychological
  • physiological
  • genetics
  • predispositions
  • cultural
  • societal
  • perception
  • pursuit
What to do next:
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