IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The internet has changed the way the information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. what are the problems associated with it and what solutions can you suggest?

#internet #information
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Undoubtedly, the
Internet
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 is a blessing for people who use it in a systematic manner but
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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 birth to some issues as well. I will discuss the drawbacks and some suggestions to solve those problems
Change preposition
in
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the below paragraphs. There are several problems with the
internet
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.
To begin
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 with, youth commit crimes with the usage of
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internet
Add an article
the internet
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such
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 as cybercrimes, hacking and many more. A report conducted by
turbine
Capitalize word
Turbine
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 newspaper showed that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of crimes in
this
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 era are conducted by
internet
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 users. What's more, children spend the maximum of their
time
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 on technological devices playing games, chatting with friends, most popular nowadays making videos on social sites like tik tok, Instagram which keeps away them from studying and they do not show interest in gaining knowledge which is the basic purpose of the
internet
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.
Furthermore
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, they do not want to spend
time
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 with their parents and grandparents. As every problem has its own key,
this
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 issue can be solved by taking some measures. First of all, parents should take some steps like they should keep an eye on the activities of their pupils.
Moreover
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, they should decrease their own
time
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 spent on
cellphones
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cell phones
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 and spend
time
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 with children. In
this
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 way, they can
motivate
Wrong verb form
be motivated
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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for reading
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to read
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, gather knowledge in their interest
as well
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as
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and
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 play outdoor games which is beneficial for their physical and psychological part.
Secondly
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, the government should take charge of criminal activities and make strict laws against people who use the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 to commit crimes.
Thirdly
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,
internet
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 devices can be used to make professional contacts on various websites like Linkedin. In conclusion, on the one hand, the
internet
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 has made
people
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people's
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 life very easy.
On the other hand
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, it has created many serious drawbacks which can be solved by taking some cooperating measures by government, society and individuals.
Submitted by groversunakshi on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic and supports the main argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples related to the problems associated with the internet to strengthen your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cybersecurity
  • phishing
  • identity theft
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • social isolation
  • internet addiction
  • data privacy
  • digital literacy
  • regulations
  • awareness programs
  • manipulate
  • proliferation
  • consent
  • escalated
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