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With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?

#improvements #today’s #health #care #society #people #numbers
As
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time goes by, the facility of
health
care
 keeps improving from various aspects.
This
 improvement, somehow, is followed by the rising of the number of humans, especially the elderly
people
. I strongly believe that humanity will be able to cope with the elevating of the numbers of elderly
people
 as more
people
engaged
Wrong verb form
engage
show examples
 with their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
. Living in Indonesia has been known as one of the largest
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
show examples
 in
this
 world and probably has a large
numbers
Correct the article-noun agreement
number
show examples
 of elderly. Along with the addition of the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
, well, not only the elderly, the government tried to anticipate by increasing the number of
health
care
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
. As I know, in the
last
 5 years, there are 3 hospitals
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 built in my
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
. Due to
this
 fact, I personally think that our society is able to cope with
this
 problem. In another view, more
people
 are eager to encourage themselves to take more
care
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their parents. Since more
health
care
 facilities are built, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
also
 an elevation of
insurance
 members. Most
people
 realize the
urgent
Replace the word
urgency
show examples
 of being registered in
insurance
health
care
.
For example
, my workplace
sign
Change the verb form
signs
show examples
 up all of the teachers and
also
 their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 to an
insurance
 company, to prevent any
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 difficulties for our family members.
Furthermore
, the
insurance
 can cover any
health
 problems for the elderly
people
 in our family and they can receive the best
care
 which is offered by the
health
care
. In conclusion, the upgrading
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
health
care
 facilities
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 made our hope to take
care
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 elderly becomes possible. As well as the anticipation from
government
Add an article
the government
a government
show examples
 which added more hospitality and
also
 the concern from all companies to provide
insurance
, we can easily be responsible to the elderly
health
care
.
Submitted by serlyayus on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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