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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that children should learn how to compete but others think that children should be taught to cooperate to to become more useful adults. Express some reasons for both the views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #adults
The world is becoming competitive day by day for many years.Some people say that children should be competitive while others ask them to cooperate to become worthy of
society
.I would like to say that none of these arguments is going to make them suit
for
Change preposition
apply
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society
.
First
 and foremost,teenagers should have competitive nature for their future accomplishments and the long journey of life.As an example when a child
apply
Change the verb form
applies
show examples
 for an examination between another 5 students he needs to put in his effort more than ever.
That is
 how he can achieve perfection from his education and the object that he wants to get.So not for the sake of
society
 he needs to be competitive for his own sake.
Secondly
 and most importantly it is community opinion that a child needs to be friendly with others to be a better person.He needs to have good manners like respecting,sharing and obeying as a well educated one.
For instance
,he must listen to his elders ,while he can build up his best personality by himself.
However
,Those matters are reliable when the teenager is able to proceed with
abound
Change the verb form
abounding
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 ideas for his advantage.Not for community In my,opinion
I
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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believe that a learner will always learn through the people of
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
.The best lesson is to teach him the behaviour of his elders.If they behave without any lack child will mend his ways as a great person by his own.He will be a better man once he becomes a member of
society
.
Submitted by gihanagaya1993 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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