style which cannot be treated with modern medicines. Some people think that a return to traditional medicine should be encouraged? To what extent do you agree?

#style #medicines #people #medicine

Life style

Correct your spelling

Lifestyle

show examples

is a way of living which cannot be measured with modern

medicines

, I agree.While others say that evolution of traditional

treatment

should be amplified for the welfare of the

people

. In

this

essay,I will outline the different outcomes of following the ancient style.

First

and foremost,changes in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

lifestyle cannot match with the invention of modern

medicines

because of the variations and unhealthy situations that are around in the present situation.

For instance

people

are not cooking home-style food and ordering online because of the working conditions.

Moreover

, the public is busy and timeless in their routine and

this

can impact their personal

health

Secondly

, the invention of different

medicines

in the modern world has a negative effect on the lifestyle and the diet which are following.

Such

as,

instead

of eating more green vegetables and salads,most

people

eat burgers and pizzas as their meal.

However

,children and youngsters are

also

eating fast food,

such

as cakes and pastries,

instead

of a healthy balanced diet.

Lastly

, doctors and

health

care workers invented modern

medicines

in which the public can invest money in treatments.

Such

as treating for obesity,fat burning and weight loss capsules and tablets.

This

can be a negative impact on

health

conditions for both men and women because of the artificial

treatment

and different changes in the body.

Nevertheless

,others believe that natural

medicines

are more beneficial for

health

reasons.

For example

,Naturopathy,Allopathy, and Homeopathy are nature-related treatments,most of the young generations and older

people

are following for getting better.

As a result

this

,many folks are returning back and interested in old traditions as

this

is an opportunity and has a positive healthy condition.

In addition

, to the expenses and costs that are used for modern

treatment

, the community are preferring for natural

treatment

, which are traditional in ancient times. In conclusion,In my opinion,

people

need to be aware and take consultation of the treatments with the

health

professionals in the modern world.

Submitted by ar050682 on Sat Jan 08 2022

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

319 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.5

Complete response

8.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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