IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that housing is a basic human right for all individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is believed that all human beings are entitled to possess a house. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, because it provides
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
essential well-being and promotes the
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 outlook.
Firstly
Linking Words
, owning
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 home offers the primary necessities of humanity
such
Linking Words
 as safety, shelter, the spot for consuming food and relaxing. Given that the individual has a dwelling, not only does a person gain an opportunity to live a fulfilled life without worries, but
also
Linking Words
 it leads to the attempts to other development of himself or herself
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
welfare .
Moreover
Linking Words
, individuals acquire a chance to save
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 expenditures.
For example
Linking Words
, statistics provided by the Wellbeing and Social Services Department show that the main necessity to live
satisfying
Correct article usage
a satisfying
show examples
 life for 80%
participants
Change preposition
of participants
show examples
 of the survey is considered to be the shelter provision.
In addition
Linking Words
, the positive circumstance in the home results in the enhancement of social and economic outlook. If the welfare of citizens is ensured, it leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
long-term benefits for the government
such
Linking Words
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
savings from healthcare services and retention of its inhabitants, as they have no reason to emigrate to other countries to maintain survival initiatives.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 positive impact contributes to the
further
Linking Words
 economic development of the territory.
For instance
Linking Words
, Switzerland is considered one of the most economically advanced nations. The primary reason for
this
Linking Words
 is claimed to be the high rate of homeownership among its citizens. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
homeownership is considered to be the right that every human is able to afford. I support
this
Linking Words
 idea as its implementation results in the improvement of vital conditions and enhances the growth
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the economy.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Make sure to provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that outlines your position explicitly. This will help direct the reader on your viewpoint more effectively.
Task Response
While your points are relevant, consider adding more specific data or studies to strengthen your arguments further. This will provide depth to your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use varied transition words or phrases to enhance the flow between your ideas. Phrases like 'Furthermore', 'Additionally' can help connect your thoughts more smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that directly ties back to your thesis statement; this will improve the overall coherence of the essay.
Task Response
Your essay presents a clear opinion on the topic, showing strong engagement with the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of your essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal right
  • social security
  • sustainable housing
  • affordable housing
  • economic disparity
  • social welfare
  • public health
  • stability
  • government responsibility
  • poverty alleviation
  • moral obligation
  • ethical responsibility
  • human dignity
  • social equity
  • basic necessity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: