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Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can be offered?

#children #diseases #adults #obesity #disease
Current
kids
 are less movement than
kids
 in the past.
As a result
, they are struggling with
health
 problems that are generally considered for old people.
For example
,
children
 becoming over fat and
this
 might cause for
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 high blood pressure. Disease-causing and solutions will be discussed in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, there are many causes of
health
 problems for
children
.The primary reason is the developments of the transportation ways, it let the students go to their schools by cars or school’s
buss
Correct your spelling
bus
show examples
instead
 of walking.
Therefore
,
children
 lost a way to burn calories. The
second
 reason is using technology devices
such
 as smartphones,
kids
 have used mobile phones to play video games and watch YouTube for most of their time. While they are using technology devices they watched advertising for junk or low nutrition foods.
Besides
 that,
kids
 enjoy eating while watching a screen. It is parents’ responsibility to help their
children
 to decrease their
health
 risks in several ways.
First
 of all, if parents offer their
kids
 a huge amount of sweets and chocolate,
kids
 cannot stop themselves from eating unless they finished all
what
Change the word
that
show examples
 they have.
Secondly
, if parents had taken their
kids
 to parks to spend time
instead
 of watching T.V, they would have healthier bodies. Catching up with
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 will increase teenagers’ communication skills and help them to spend time playing physical activities. It’s a big problem for toddlers,
kids
 and teenagers to have an oversized body, they
want
Add the particle
towant
show examples
 be able to lose waste easily. If families focused on their
kids
Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
show examples
health
 from the beginning, they would have good
health
.
Submitted by talaqadan99 on

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  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Obesity
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Prevalent
  • Genetic predisposition
  • Comfort eating
  • Screen time
  • Physical education
  • Nutritional education
  • Economic disparities
  • Food deserts
  • Subsidize
  • Advertising
  • Weight management
  • Junk food
  • Healthy food options
  • Physical activity
  • Body image
  • Counseling
  • Consumer education
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