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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #men #women
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Men
 and women are different in many factors psychologically and physiologically and in my opinion, the sense of competition is no exception.
In other words
,
although
men
 are more competitive in some aspects of life
such
 as career and wealth, they are less competitive in others including beauty and drama. On the one hand, since our ancestors in the evolution process were hunters, males usually had the role of a breadwinner in the family, while females were caretakers for the children. In
this
 sense,
men
 inherited the sense of being stronger and richer and being competitive about it from their ancestors.
This
 will satisfy their need to take care of their family and overcome their rivals, especially when resources are rare.
For instance
,
men
 are usually jealous of the other
men
 who are richer than them, rather than the ones who are more handsome.
On the contrary
, because the females had the role of being mothers, they needed to attract
men
 to make sure of continuing the generation. In the same way as
men
,
this
 characteristic has been handed down to new generations and
that is
 why most women tend to be more pretty and in shape than others.
That is
 why historically women use cosmetics and beauty operations to make themselves more attractive and
as a result
, the cosmetics and make-up industry has become one of the biggest industries nowadays which mainly serves females. All in all,
although
men
 are competitive in earning money and becoming financially stronger, they are not so when it comes to subjects like beauty and health.
Submitted by Serhii Baraniuk on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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