IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that the Olympics is no longer important in the 21st century. To what extent do you agree?

#people #olympics #st #century
There is a belief that the
Olympics
 is no longer important in the 21st century. It is clear that it is vital for the public as their entertainment and for athletes to perform their
skills
. The
first
 aspect to point out is that the
Olympics
 is important for the public as their entertainment. People can watch the games on TV shows when they are at home with their family, which gives them an enjoyable time. Individuals will
also
 understand the different cultures by watching the
Olympics
.
Additionally
, if they watched these games, the young might be encouraged to take up new
sports
 by the performers.
This
 would be beneficial for society as the young tend not to do exercise and obesity is one of the major concerns in modern society. Another important issue is that it will be the best place for the athletes to perform their
skills
 because it is a worldwide recognition. Players need to make an effort in their
sports
 in order to achieve their goals. If there is nowhere to perform their
skills
, their motivation would decrease.
Additionally
, some
sports
 players need to be supported financially,
thus
, the
Olympics
 is the best place to show off their
skills
 to the supporters. If one gets a gold medal in a particular sport, they will have a wide range of opportunities in the future. To conclude, the
Olympics
 is vital for individuals as their entertainment and it will be the best place for
sports
 players to perform their abilities since it is a worldwide recognition.
Submitted by hiromi-o.1828 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!