“Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are equally responsible for solving this problem” To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#“many #children #lifestyle #schools #parents #problem”

Currently, many

kids

get ill-health around the world. To overcome

this

tragedy, each party which are academies and guardians should

similarly

be responsible for

this

matter. I strongly agree with the argument and

this

easy will elaborate the idea. While the whole world has a competition to win everything youngsters

also

become a part of it. Due to that education institutions are required to bloom the best pupils from their

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

For instance

, become

highest ranking

Add a hyphen

highest-ranking

show examples

students from exams, best debate team and

also

them to become best athletes from their

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

, etc.

As a result

this

schooling

Correct article usage

the schooling

show examples

age is the most overloaded era of each person’s life.

Furthermore

Add a comma

,Furthermore

show examples

parents

also

need their

kids

to be the best of the world as they force them to follow extra educational sources

such

as physically and online materials. The worst is children have to go through with huge stress with many diseases like headache, low vision and even diabetes. Due to that both colleges and parents have

same

Add an article

the same

show examples

understanding to away from

kids

busiest.

Nevertheless

, the

kids

where they are in out of the home

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

have some bad habits. To illustrate, they tend to have sweets and fast foods more without any control. Because it is a habit of that age limit.

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

this

habitat cause to get them not well always and many of them become hyperactive. Since

kids

also

have their own limitations to be healthy. To conclude, according to my point of view, mostly the higher workload and strain given by educational

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

and parents on children may cause to create a less healthy life pattern though children have some bad habits.

Submitted by priyankamiriyagalla on Sun Jan 09 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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