IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think history has nothing or little to tell us, but others think that studying the past history can help us better understand the present. Discuss the two views and give your own opinion.

Many
claimes
Use the right word
claim
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 that searching in the past has nothing or little to think and tell.
However
Linking Words
 ,some
people
Use synonyms
 opine that having good knowledge about the past can aid humans in better perceiving today. From my point of
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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view, I believe that
history
Use synonyms
 is one of the important things that
people
Use synonyms
 should study.
Firstly
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 ,one of the conspicuous reasons those who do not accept
to think
Wrong verb form
thinking
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 about the past is distorting the
history
Use synonyms
 of the globe. We all know each country has its own past
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 these
people
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 regularly believe
when
Correct word choice
that if
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 our
history
Use synonyms
 is not
true
Punctuation problem
true,
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 there is
not
Rephrase
no
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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reason to study and understand it.
Also
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 ,they usually say
wrong
Correct word choice
that wrong
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 information can not help us.
For
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example
Punctuation problem
example,
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 in most countries in the Middle
East
Punctuation problem
East,
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 historical books taught at educational centres are distorted
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besides
Punctuation problem
, besides
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 indispensable information
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 omitted.
This
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 would create a reluctance to think about the stake of all countries on the Earth and the population
commence
Correct subject-verb agreement
commences
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 to forget
history
Use synonyms
besides
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 historians.
Therefore
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 ,
this
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 makes it clear why societies opine that they are not required to understand the past.
Secondly
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 ,in my
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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opinion,
history
Use synonyms
 is crucial.
For instance
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 , most countries around the world have
old
Correct article usage
an old
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history
Use synonyms
 and civilisation
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as Japan. It means that when the community of these counties have enough knowledge about the
past
Punctuation problem
past,
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 they definitely attempt to retain
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in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
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 addition keep it.
Also
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 ,
this
Linking Words
 could cause
people
Use synonyms
 to retain their traditional cultures.
This
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 would create a noticeable awareness among all humans
in
Change preposition
on
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 the globe about
what was
Verb problem
who
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 they
and
Verb problem
are and
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 what
did
Verb problem
apply
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their ancestors
conduct
Verb problem
did
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.
As a result
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 ,it becomes apparent there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 multiple permanent reasons behind each claim toward humans. To summarise ,I completely believe
history
Use synonyms
 is one of the most significant
stuff
Check wording
subjects
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 that all
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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 in the world should study
besides
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 improve their
information
Check wording
understanding
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about
Change preposition
of
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 it. It is predicted that to provide the best situation in schools
besides
Linking Words
 universities for studying
Use synonyms
history
Punctuation problem
history,
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 the community
start
Verb problem
should start
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 to learn about
this
Linking Words
.

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organization
Make your two views clear in separate paragraph and end with a clear line that shows your own view.
content
Add a short example for each idea and explain how it helps the point.
language
Use more simple, plain words and fix many wrong spellings and mis-typing.
coherence
Use a calm and proper link words to make ideas fit well, like 'and', 'but', 'also' and 'however' in the right place.
structure
Finish with a short end that repeats your view.
progress
The essay tries to show both side and the writer's view.
coherence
There are some good link words like 'Firstly', 'Secondly'.
content
There is an opinion at the end.
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