Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective.
It
seems to be an increasing number of Correct pronoun usage
There
the
youth who Correct article usage
apply
committed in
Wrong verb form
commit
the
Correct article usage
apply
crime
in most Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
country
all aroundFix the agreement mistake
countries
Add an article
the
reducing
Change preposition
in reducing
crime
. Possibly the main cause is unemployment of the young people
especially developing
countries today world. Change preposition
in developing
For instance
, in my country, it tends to be related to most crime
committed Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
people
who have less income than Change preposition
by people
Correct article usage
the middle-class
middle-class
. Another well-known cause is Correct your spelling
middle class
that
Correct determiner usage
the
education
level of those people
especially who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
has
just graduated their university or college. In some developing and poor Correct subject-verb agreement
have
countries
more than half Add a comma
countries,
cases
of Change preposition
of cases
the
any Remove the article
apply
crime
occurrence is
Unnecessary verb
apply
that
result from Correct determiner usage
apply
who
have not acquired Correct pronoun usage
those who
quality
education
. Turning to possible solutions, most private and NGO (Non-Government Organizations) should support to
job opportunities for young Change preposition
apply
people
who are hunting a
job actively and Change preposition
for a
other unemployed person
Change the wording
another unemployed person
other unemployed people
whose
may Correct pronoun usage
who
be
less experience and skills. Of course, if Verb problem
have
people
had job
, they would enjoy and busy life which means workers who Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
have
not much free time for doing any illegal act Add a missing verb
do have
such
as robbery, burglary and so on. A further
widely-observed impact is high
Add a hyphen
high-quality
quality
education
can be change
Change the verb form
change
attitude
and mindset of young Correct article usage
the attitude
people
who have not
Add the particle
not to
outgrow
yet. Wrong verb form
outgrown
For example
, in Mongolia it have been increasing higher education
’s quality
and opportunities for everyone who have strongly would like to attending
andWrong verb form
attend
acquiring
from all universities and colleges where no tuition fees Wrong verb form
acquire
since
Change preposition
for
last
Correct article usage
the last
a
decade. In summary, unemployment and not enough Correct article usage
apply
education
seem to be the main causes, and more vacant positions and high
Add a hyphen
high-quality
quality
tertiary education
might be solve
Change the verb form
solve
this difficulties
.Change the determiner
this difficulty
these difficulties
Submitted by alexstudyin on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite