IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective.

#crime #countries #world #people #trend
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It
Correct pronoun usage
There
show examples
 seems to be an increasing number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youth who
committed in
Wrong verb form
commit
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
 in most
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 all around
Add an article
the
show examples
world. There are two main causes and a couple of solutions that could be effective
reducing
Change preposition
in reducing
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
. Possibly the main cause is unemployment of the young
people
Use synonyms
 especially
developing
Change preposition
in developing
show examples
 countries today world.
For instance
Linking Words
, in my country, it tends to be related to most
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
 committed
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
by people
show examples
 who have less income than
Correct article usage
the middle-class
show examples
middle-class
Correct your spelling
middle class
show examples
. Another well-known cause is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 level of those
people
Use synonyms
 especially
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 just graduated their university or college. In some developing and poor
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
 more than half
cases
Change preposition
of cases
show examples
 of
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
any
crime
Use synonyms
 occurrence
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
result from
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 have not acquired
quality
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
. Turning to possible solutions, most private and NGO (Non-Government Organizations) should support
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
job opportunities for young
people
Use synonyms
 who are hunting
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
job actively and
other unemployed person
Change the wording
another unemployed person
other unemployed people
show examples
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 may
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
 less experience and skills. Of course, if
people
Use synonyms
 had
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
, they would enjoy and busy life which means workers who
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not much free time for doing any illegal act
such
Linking Words
 as robbery, burglary and so on. A
further
Linking Words
 widely-observed impact is
high
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
quality
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 can
be change
Change the verb form
change
show examples
attitude
Correct article usage
the attitude
show examples
 and mindset of young
people
Use synonyms
 who have
not
Add the particle
not to
show examples
outgrow
Wrong verb form
outgrown
show examples
 yet.
For example
Linking Words
, in Mongolia it have been increasing higher
education
Use synonyms
’s
quality
Use synonyms
 and opportunities for everyone who have strongly would like to
attending
Wrong verb form
attend
show examples
 and
acquiring
Wrong verb form
acquire
show examples
 from all universities and colleges where no tuition fees
since
Change preposition
for
show examples
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
decade. In summary, unemployment and not enough
education
Use synonyms
 seem to be the main causes, and more vacant positions and
high
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
quality
Use synonyms
 tertiary
education
Use synonyms
 might
be solve
Change the verb form
solve
show examples
Linking Words
this difficulties
Change the determiner
this difficulty
these difficulties
show examples
.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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