IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In some areas in the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night, unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

#areas #‘curfew’ #teenagers #doors #time #night #adult
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I completely agree
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
. I think it is important to impose a curfew for
teenagers
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since
teenagers
Use synonyms
 are in
their
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
 most rebellious stage of their
lives
Use synonyms
. I will try to explain my reasons
further
Linking Words
 in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
First
Linking Words
, though it may seem
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 strict to impose a curfew for
teenagers
Use synonyms
. I think it is much safer to prevent them from doing things that they will regret for the rest of their
lives
Use synonyms
. Surely, as
adults
Add a comma
,adults
show examples
 we do not want our children to end up messing with their
lives
Use synonyms
 because of the small stupid things they did during their teenage years. And I think as they grow older,
hopefully
Add the comma(s)
,hopefully
show examples
 they will realize the reason for the curfew.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is not that they are not fully allowed to go out at night. They still can do that as long as there is an adult accompanying them.
Clearly
Add a comma
,Clearly
show examples
 it is to make sure that they do not do something stupid
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because there will be an adult there
Fix the infinitive
to stop
show examples
stop
Correct your spelling
stopwatch
show examples
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
 over them. To sum up, I see
this
Linking Words
 as more of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
prevention for
teenagers
Use synonyms
 from doing bad things that will ruin their
lives
Use synonyms
. Rather than, being a way to limit their freedom. And of
course
Add a comma
,course
show examples
 I see
this
Linking Words
 as a very good thing and fully supports it.
Submitted by izzyengelbert on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: