Some people say that humanitarian subjects such as philosophy, history, and literature that people study in universities have no value for their future career. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and relevant examples.
It is believed by some populaces that learning about theory, past events, and languages is not able to bring any benefits to educational institutions
students
. However
, in my opinion, I completely disagree with this
argument.
The major reason is students
will lose an opportunity to improve themselves in the right way. Since,
learning about history is an essential tool to understand what we Remove the comma
apply
had
done in the past so that Wrong verb form
have
one
Correct pronoun usage
we
could
do it right in the present. Wrong verb form
can
For example
, if one politician is trying to come up with attractive policies to promote his party,
if he educates himself on how his community had been managed in the past, he would come up with better ideas. Remove the comma
apply
Therefore
, humanities couldn't run over the same place, we are all created to develop ourselves, and the
knowledge would help us.
Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, the subjects
is being
part of cultures. To be more specific, humans could live in a community because they have an image of how countries look Wrong verb form
are
like
through histories, languages, and ideologies. Change preposition
apply
Therefore
, if we let universities stop teaching about those knowledge students
might lose the ability to comprehend how to live in a society. This
will be a vital reason why they should keep this
subject in universities.
Moreover
, values should be decided by students
themselves. Education should be something Correct article usage
the students
that is
selected by learners not
observers. Add the comma(s)
, not
Although
the subjects
could deliver less valuable knowledge for academic students
, it is their choice. Learners will earn the most benefits when they acknowledge things they are fond of. At last
, students
might derive a large of money after graduation because they distribute new theories that could persuade people.
In conclusion, the
humanitarian Correct article usage
apply
subjects
have many advantages and society shouldn't cut off the subjects
by themselves,
since they should consider Remove the comma
apply
to
the learners as well.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by chdreamzase on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured and includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in presenting your argument clearly. However, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that your examples are fully developed to strengthen your points further.
general
Some sentences have grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasing, which can be improved for better clarity. For instance, rephrase 'humanities couldn't run over the same place' to something more coherent like 'humanities prevent us from making the same mistakes'.
vocabulary
Work on diversifying your vocabulary and sentence structures to make your writing more engaging. For example, instead of repeatedly using phrases like ‘students might lose,’ consider using alternatives like ‘students could miss out on’ or ‘students may be deprived of’.
task response
Your essay clearly disagrees with the argument stated in the prompt and provides reasons to support your viewpoint. This effectively addresses the task requirement.
task response
You did a good job of outlining the importance of humanities subjects such as history in both personal and societal contexts, which supports your argument well.
coherence cohesion
You present a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame your argument and make your essay easy to follow.
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