IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people belive that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of a bad's person nature. discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #belive #crime #poverty #person #nature
Some people get hold of the idea that problems in the community and financial shortage are the main reasons why a person commits a crime since these
factors
 prevent
criminals
 from being educated and learning essential
life
 skills . Others,
however
, believe that
criminals
 have bad personal characteristics which are the most significant aetiology of their behaviour because many people who are at the lower socioeconomic levels would never break the law. In my opinion, the
first
 group argument is more correct. From one perspective, instinctive characteristics of
criminals
,
such
 as their genes, play the main role in pushing them toward breaking the law, as many other individuals who belong to the same socioeconomic group, would never commit a felony in their
life
.
For example
, the supporters of
this
 idea mention the poor teenagers, from underdeveloped part of New York City, who are living by the law, while some other youngsters despite having sufficient financial resources, joining criminal gangs which strengthen the assumption that intrinsic
factors
such
 as genetic features, encourage the latter group.
However
, others believe that
although
 some genetic
factors
 may predispose humans to perform outlaw behaviour, these are not the main contributors in occurring them, as environmental
factors
such
 as poverty and social problems are necessary to facilitate to commit crimes.
For instance
, many convicted felons have stated that if they had access to education, which they did not due to poverty and lack of social supporting systems, they would have acquired the essential
life
 skills to manage their
life
 and prevent them from engaging in outlaw activities.
Moreover
, if the
criminals
 had evil nature, it would have been impossible to correct them by training, while we know many of these people change their behaviour after proper training in prisons. In conclusion,
although
 natural characteristics may have some influence on the
criminals
' activities, environmental facilitators
such
 as financial difficulties are the main contributors that make these activities occur.
Submitted by pooyamehr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: