IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

"Prevention is better than cure " Researching and treating disease is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extend do yo agree?

Nowadays, people are very concerned about their health.Some of them claim that diagnosing sickness and its
further
Linking Words
 treatment is too expensive.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
show examples
 it's better to spend some money on prevention methods.I completely agree with that statement
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will support my opinion with examples
Firstly
Linking Words
, prevaccination is an effective way to fight against several diseases.There are certain illnesses that can be prevented by injecting medicine earlier.Indeed,it will act as a
protecting
Correct word choice
protective
show examples
 shield by accelerating the immune system.
For example
Linking Words
,coronavirus is one of the dangerous and spreading diseases.
Moreover
Linking Words
,death rates are
also
Linking Words
 immensely high.So the only way to prevent
this
Linking Words
 virus is to get
pre vaccinated
Use the right word
pre-vaccinated
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,taking precautions earlier will save you from some severe diseases.
In addition
Linking Words
,
prechekups
Correct your spelling
pre-checkups
 are affordable when compared to the
post sickness
Use the right word
post-sickness
show examples
 treatment cost.
curing
Fix capitalization
Curing
show examples
 illness needs highly expensive medicines and consulting charges
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 prescanning can be done in small hospitals ,even in local laboratories.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are many foundations that conduct pre-check-up campaigns every month at an affordable cost.
For example
Linking Words
 , cancer is a severe disease that can be cured easily if it is identified in its prime stage
pre-scanning
Punctuation problem
, pre-scanning
show examples
.
To
Change preposition
On
show examples
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
,treating a condition is an expensive process because it needs the service of professional doctors. At the same time , some serious sicknesses need
high costly
Use the right word
high-cost
show examples
 types of equipment.As an example, A recent survey conducted by the medical students of India says that 60 per cent of
patients
Check wording
patients'
show examples
 hospital bill is consumed by hospital services.
To conclude
Linking Words
, taking precautions to prevent some dangerous contamination
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they are always affordable
Linking Words
while
Check wording
apply
show examples
compared to treatment
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Fix spelling and edge errors. Use easy, short sentences that are clear.
structure
Plan your answer. Start with your view in the first line. Then two main points in the next paragraphs. End with a short conclusion.
content
Give clear examples. Explain how each example shows why prevention is good.
stance
The essay shows a steady view that prevention is better.
content
Examples are used to support ideas.
coherence
There is a few linking words that help join ideas.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: