People's shopping habits depend more on age than other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #habits #age #factors

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Crime

Use synonyms

is like cancer in

this

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modern era. Many countries of

this

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tremendous world increase in

crime

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rate. Because of

this

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, people believe that there should be more police

officers

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patrolling the streets. I partly agree with

this

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view.

Firstly

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, patrolling can prevent illegal activities as

this

Linking Words

might help create a sense of fear in the minds of criminals. The lack of surveillance leads to more unlawful activities. If the police

officers

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are out on the streets of the violent areas, there will be fewer illegal activities because they can get caught.

Secondly

Linking Words

, it gives citizens a sense of proving something unlawful happens

crime

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scene faster. It can help in saving the victim from adversaries.

However

Linking Words

, I believe in placing more force on the grouting. For surveillance purposes, cameras can be installed on the streets, shopping areas. To solve

this

Linking Words

problem, the mentality of the people, law system

needs

Wrong verb form

need

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to be changed.

For instance

Linking Words

, many corrupt law officials have joined hands with the bad guys who are extra money. The administration needs to ensure that

such

Linking Words

officers

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get severe punishments for their betrayal of the community.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the government must try to make stricter laws and ensure that they get implemented at the ground level. All the criminals must get strict punishments. To conclude, I agree that installing more police

officers

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on the ground can help prevent lawlessness, but It is not the effect. To effectively reduce

crime

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, the government needs to change people's mentality, make stricter laws so that no offender gets out without any sentence.

Submitted by arash.dejkameh on Wed Jan 12 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Write at least 150 words. You would like to rent a car for a holiday. Write to the car rental agency. In your letter •Explain what type of car you would like •Give details of when you would like the car •Request more information about the cost
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People's shopping habits depend more on age than other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Write at least 150 words. You would like to rent a car for a holiday. Write to the car rental agency. In your letter •Explain what type of car you would like •Give details of when you would like the car •Request more information about the cost

Many things that use to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines. Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages?